My heart hurts.
Again, I was attacked, hacked and sacked by a mean mouthed man and his wife. This time the man joined in the attack. UGH! She was offended at first about the stabbing of the heart sword demostration that I use. Then he picked up her offense. He then began to gather other men to continue the attack. Small stuff and he was not a good friend. But it still hurts.
What hurts more, is the man who was supposed to stand beside me, chose not to. He backed out of the fight.
I have served in the military, front line forces for the Cold War. I have snuck behind the Iron Curtain and faced bold communists who hated my guts to my face. But a brother who names Christ who lies and exagerates what I said; who has apparently no understanding of spiritual realities; tries to regulate how I explain forgiveness and healing and the gospel of Jesus Christ. A lay man attacks a Pastor. OUCH. Round two.
I bleed because I forgive. They are already forgiven. Released to God for Him to deal with... I am done. Yet there is no reconcillation without owning the wounds that they have caused. And I recognize even if they begin to own the wounds they will never fully understand without having been a pastor. I can forgive, easily, sheep who hurt because they are hurt. But wolves, pretending to be sheep...It is good to be quiet now and let God move. My wife's dad has a saying, "God's mill grinds exceedingly slow but exceedingly fine." I have seen it and will see it again.
My heart hurts, my eyes want to cry, my voice wants to moan somehow to match, to relieve the pain of my heart.
I have learned I need to be very careful in explaining HeartTalk and HeartHealing to others. Those with unattended wounds will turn and attack. When they sense the person next to them is getting healed of a wound similiar to theirs, they will scream and shout and doing anything and everything to stop the healing. If the person next to them gets healed, that means there is a chance for them to healed. They are comfortable in their anger and rage, it drives their life, gives them a sense of power. I was sent into their lives to bring life and they chose their anger and rage. Their hatred will consume them. Some turn, most don't.
May God have mercy and deliver them from their foolishness.
May they know a long life of true joy that comes from pulling the sword out of their heart and releasing it to God.
May they know the love of their children from a pure heart and mind and
may God delight to humble us all, again and again until we are perfected through suffering into the image of His Son. Please pray for me to stay humble and to hold my ground.
Martin Luther, the Junior.
aka Pastor Rod
Friday, November 18, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Two Pillars of Marriage
The two pillars of marriage are communication and expectation.
Communication is simple: heart to heart. It means that my mates knows my heart better than I do and I trust them with my heart more than I trust myself. Men love to be heard without a word and women love to be heart-seen. 1 Peter 3:1-6 talks of men being heard without a word. They can be led to God by their wives without a tongue having to move. Women want their heart known in a way that allows them to rest and trust another with their heart.
Expectation
This is very dangerous. This is hidden, under the radar type of stuff. We all come into relationships expecting certain things. Some of the things we are very aware of while the deeper things haunt us. Usually they are unspoken promises we have made to ourselves from our childhood. They are usually discovered when we encounter a situation that demands danger to the soul. When we don't stay in that condition you can usually see what the issue is. They will say something like this: no one is ever going to make me feel that way again.
Communication is simple: heart to heart. It means that my mates knows my heart better than I do and I trust them with my heart more than I trust myself. Men love to be heard without a word and women love to be heart-seen. 1 Peter 3:1-6 talks of men being heard without a word. They can be led to God by their wives without a tongue having to move. Women want their heart known in a way that allows them to rest and trust another with their heart.
Expectation
This is very dangerous. This is hidden, under the radar type of stuff. We all come into relationships expecting certain things. Some of the things we are very aware of while the deeper things haunt us. Usually they are unspoken promises we have made to ourselves from our childhood. They are usually discovered when we encounter a situation that demands danger to the soul. When we don't stay in that condition you can usually see what the issue is. They will say something like this: no one is ever going to make me feel that way again.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Adam's Sons
Inside of every son there is a way that seems right to him but the end thereof is death.
The Easy way.
The way of Escape.
The way of Excuse.
Men are born wanting easy women. They want marriage to be easy, dating to be easy and sex to be easy. They donot want to have to fight or work for anything. They want an easy job with an easy life.
Every man looks for a way of escape. Pornography, divorce, alcohol and drugs are another way of getting away from the issues.
You catch a boy with his hand in your cookie jar and ask him what he is doing and most men will say, "Nothing." He even may repeat what echoes in his soul, "The woman that THOU gaveth to me, she gaveth and I ateth."
A boy becoming a man has to learn to fight for each one of these. He has to learn to fight for what is right no matter the cost, not for the easy way.
He has to learn to take responsibility even when he is not sometimes responsible. The buck stops with him.
And he has to learn to stand and take the heat. That is a man. And a man becomes that by fighting those battles for himself and by himself.
A father can model and message these important examples but the son must learn to fight for himself.
The Easy way.
The way of Escape.
The way of Excuse.
Men are born wanting easy women. They want marriage to be easy, dating to be easy and sex to be easy. They donot want to have to fight or work for anything. They want an easy job with an easy life.
Every man looks for a way of escape. Pornography, divorce, alcohol and drugs are another way of getting away from the issues.
You catch a boy with his hand in your cookie jar and ask him what he is doing and most men will say, "Nothing." He even may repeat what echoes in his soul, "The woman that THOU gaveth to me, she gaveth and I ateth."
A boy becoming a man has to learn to fight for each one of these. He has to learn to fight for what is right no matter the cost, not for the easy way.
He has to learn to take responsibility even when he is not sometimes responsible. The buck stops with him.
And he has to learn to stand and take the heat. That is a man. And a man becomes that by fighting those battles for himself and by himself.
A father can model and message these important examples but the son must learn to fight for himself.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Cherished by God
Well, if God chases me and expects me to chase Gabi...And God expects me to cherish Gabi, is God cherishing my heart?
Why does the thought of this scare me? It is like God is reaching inside, in a world, a realm where there is no map and no one has been there before. I don't know what HE is going to find. I fear a mess at best and worse, maybe the devil himself? Yet, I find this exploration, this desire wonderfully fulfilling and exciting. I can barely breathe. To let YOU in. To let YOU know me like I have never been known before. I do not know what the deep desires of my heart are. I must trust YOU. YOU touching the very essence of my being, that I have never trusted anyone with before. I do not even trust myself to go where YOU are desiring to go. But I must say, Go. Know me and let me know myself in YOU. YOU have always been my hope and my savior. Save me from me and my fears. Awaken those deep holy desires YOU planted deep in my heart. I trust YOU.
Why does the thought of this scare me? It is like God is reaching inside, in a world, a realm where there is no map and no one has been there before. I don't know what HE is going to find. I fear a mess at best and worse, maybe the devil himself? Yet, I find this exploration, this desire wonderfully fulfilling and exciting. I can barely breathe. To let YOU in. To let YOU know me like I have never been known before. I do not know what the deep desires of my heart are. I must trust YOU. YOU touching the very essence of my being, that I have never trusted anyone with before. I do not even trust myself to go where YOU are desiring to go. But I must say, Go. Know me and let me know myself in YOU. YOU have always been my hope and my savior. Save me from me and my fears. Awaken those deep holy desires YOU planted deep in my heart. I trust YOU.
God Chases Me
God commands that I chase Gabi. He placed a divine ache, promise, expectation that she will be chased all the days of her life. Her father was supposed to awake her to this desire and I am to complete the desire. Her sons are to help in their way but my task is special. As I do this with all my strength, I find myself weak and running on empty.
Then I realize another truth. Based upon Ephesians 5 what I am doing to my wife is what I can expect God to do with me. He chases me? Has that been my life experience? Dare I turn around and see if HE is there running after me? Yes, HE is and has always been. Wow! God is chasing me. Dare I stop and let HIM catch me? What would HE do with me if HE were to catch me? This is a reverse. I have been taught to chase God. The God-chasers. Is the secret to let God chase me? To relish in HIS chasing of my heart, to rest in HIS eventual capture again and again only to begin the chase again afresh the next day. Yes, I have the energy to chase Gabi, my wife, Tori my daughter because I too am being chased. Every day I now awaken and say, Let the race begin.
Then I realize another truth. Based upon Ephesians 5 what I am doing to my wife is what I can expect God to do with me. He chases me? Has that been my life experience? Dare I turn around and see if HE is there running after me? Yes, HE is and has always been. Wow! God is chasing me. Dare I stop and let HIM catch me? What would HE do with me if HE were to catch me? This is a reverse. I have been taught to chase God. The God-chasers. Is the secret to let God chase me? To relish in HIS chasing of my heart, to rest in HIS eventual capture again and again only to begin the chase again afresh the next day. Yes, I have the energy to chase Gabi, my wife, Tori my daughter because I too am being chased. Every day I now awaken and say, Let the race begin.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
What Mothers Do
Thank you to all the mothers who are out there. While the heart is so very tender, mothers have three basic responsibilites to their children.
1. Unconditional Rest.
2. Unconditional Presence.
3. Unconditional Voice.
Unconditional rest refers to the child moving toward the mother when tired. The mother comforts and then brings the child to a place of rest.
The child moves toward the mother in hunger, the mother gives the child's hunger rest.
The child moves toward the mother hurt, the mother fixes the ouchie.
The child moves toward the mother with a dirty diaper, the mother cleanses and restores the child. While the father and others can help, the mother is primary is imprinting the child to expect these basic needs to be taken care of for the rest of their lives.
Unconditional Presence. The mother is there. Always. And Loving. Even when the child does not deserve it. When the child is ill, the mother is present. The mother's unconditional presence brings quiet and rest to the child.
Unconditional Voice. The mother listens and celebrates the child's voice. The child learns that a certain voice will always be heard. The child begins to have confidence that their right voice will be heard and learns the difference about their wrong voice of complaining, accusing others, and other wrong use of their voice.
Some have suffered huge failure of their mother's to provide these basic needs. This creates gap in the person's life.
1. Unconditional Rest.
2. Unconditional Presence.
3. Unconditional Voice.
Unconditional rest refers to the child moving toward the mother when tired. The mother comforts and then brings the child to a place of rest.
The child moves toward the mother in hunger, the mother gives the child's hunger rest.
The child moves toward the mother hurt, the mother fixes the ouchie.
The child moves toward the mother with a dirty diaper, the mother cleanses and restores the child. While the father and others can help, the mother is primary is imprinting the child to expect these basic needs to be taken care of for the rest of their lives.
Unconditional Presence. The mother is there. Always. And Loving. Even when the child does not deserve it. When the child is ill, the mother is present. The mother's unconditional presence brings quiet and rest to the child.
Unconditional Voice. The mother listens and celebrates the child's voice. The child learns that a certain voice will always be heard. The child begins to have confidence that their right voice will be heard and learns the difference about their wrong voice of complaining, accusing others, and other wrong use of their voice.
Some have suffered huge failure of their mother's to provide these basic needs. This creates gap in the person's life.
Human Sexuality
I just finished a doctoral course on human sexuality. A few observations.
1. Stick the basics. God designed sex simple. One person for life, one in heart, soul and body. God is the Master Designer. Move away from the Master and the design gets confusing.
2. Sex is about connecting through the spirit using the body. This connection is built upon mutual exposure and seemingly weakness that produces great joy and strength. Sexual union that is wonderfully celebrated echoes God's heart for the family and the order which creation is dependent upon.
3. Sex is Powerful. God designed sex to be an oil to help married couples move through life together. Kept in its place it wonderfully celebrates both the male and female design.
4. Sex is Dangerous and Mysterious. There are certain aspects of the sexual experience we do not fully understand. Science continues to seek to understand the impact of right sex and wrong sex upon the mind, soul and spirit of the human race. The damage that is done to children is mystifying and defies evolutionary conclusions about our being.
God says enjoy, eat as much as you both enjoy, stay out of the ditches, stay on the road and keep looking ahead.
1. Stick the basics. God designed sex simple. One person for life, one in heart, soul and body. God is the Master Designer. Move away from the Master and the design gets confusing.
2. Sex is about connecting through the spirit using the body. This connection is built upon mutual exposure and seemingly weakness that produces great joy and strength. Sexual union that is wonderfully celebrated echoes God's heart for the family and the order which creation is dependent upon.
3. Sex is Powerful. God designed sex to be an oil to help married couples move through life together. Kept in its place it wonderfully celebrates both the male and female design.
4. Sex is Dangerous and Mysterious. There are certain aspects of the sexual experience we do not fully understand. Science continues to seek to understand the impact of right sex and wrong sex upon the mind, soul and spirit of the human race. The damage that is done to children is mystifying and defies evolutionary conclusions about our being.
God says enjoy, eat as much as you both enjoy, stay out of the ditches, stay on the road and keep looking ahead.
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