God desires intimacy with our hearts and spirits.
Jesus said, "those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." (John 4:24b)
Most of us are unable to allow God to be intimate with our souls. Most of us are lonely. Some of us are having sex but not intimacy. For most women, letting their husbands into their body is easier than letting him into their soul. When the soul has been hurt and damaged it is hard to allow another in if we are not sure they are ready to be a part of the healing. So husbands are kept out. And wives too.
Christ wants intimacy that is heart to heart that goes beyond the soul. If I have not had parents who paved a way through my soul to my heart then it is going to be hard to allow Gabi to build that road unless she is very careful.
For marriage to be meaningful the husband and wife must have soul sex. They must be inside each other's soul. That means inviting the other person to come in, look around and stay a while. That means giving the other person access to be able to hurt you.
When our marriages have this type of intimacy our kids will crave for that type of marriage and will joyfully honor the idea of marriage. Because they see most marriages are shallow and empty they do not believe that marriage will work for them and shacking sounds like a good way to work through some of the issues before marriage. Most women shack with the plan on getting married. Most men shack because of the consistent and expected sex. A few do it for financial reasons but the damage is the same. God will NOT co-habit with a couple that are not under the covenant of marriage.
The dating time is the time we are supposed to explore each other's souls. But for most of us, we spent the time exploring each other sexually and the soul and heart were left out of the event. When you know someone's heart and soul you know whether or not you are attracted to them.
The wife wants to invite her husband to boldly go where no man has gone before. Warp factor nine, Scotty.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Friday, May 23, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Our heart is who we are
The eyes of the heart only look out. We cannot see in. To get a picture of our heart we must be in heart to heart relationship with other people. Our parents are tasked with the calling of helping us to see the heart that God has given us and to respond according to that heart.
If our parents fail we take our identity from our soul and from the world's influence upon our soul. Our soul is our mind and emotions and will. We become chameleons that respond to all sorts of stimuli from our world.
Do you know the heart of your friends? Do they invite you to know their hearts? Do you know how to know a heart versus a mind? Do you want to know your own heart? It is very dangerous to get into a relationship with someone to discover your heart. The essence of marriage is to exchange trusts of the heart. It means to say to your spouse "I trust you more with my heart than I trust myself. You know my heart better than I do." This is also the essence of good parenting. You must win your child's heart before they are ten years of age. By winning their heart, they say to you basically the same thing, "I trust you more than I trust myself." This is very important to happen before the child reaches the age when they are exposed to their peers. If the heart exchange has not happened the child will entrust their heart unto the care of their peers. And that is not good.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Ready to Marry
Are they NAKED before God?
How to tell if they are NAKED before God?
A Man.
When the Apostle John met Jesus in His glorified state, he feel at His feet like a dead man. Too scared to move. Have you seen the man you are interested emotionally naked before His God like that? Then be very cautious. Test his repentance, test his forgiveness. The man who has "seen" God will be humble in forgiveness and quick in repentance. A man not lost in Christ will always be found by the world and the flesh, ALWAYS. Now it may be churchy flesh (the worst kind) but it will still be the same flesh.
A Woman.
When a woman has met God the most noticeable thing will be her mouth. She will be quick to hear, slow to speak. Her hope will be completely lost in her relationship with God. If you think that she is placing her hope in you, RUN. RUN FAST, RUN HARD, just RUN. She is not ready and you are going to fail her hope. God must be her only hope. If her IDEAL of marriage has become an IDOL, then she will treat you like an IDOL until you fail her or disappoint her. Then she will seek to break you down or try to get you to act like her image of her IDOL that she has set up in her mind and emotions.
How to tell if they are NAKED before God?
A Man.
When the Apostle John met Jesus in His glorified state, he feel at His feet like a dead man. Too scared to move. Have you seen the man you are interested emotionally naked before His God like that? Then be very cautious. Test his repentance, test his forgiveness. The man who has "seen" God will be humble in forgiveness and quick in repentance. A man not lost in Christ will always be found by the world and the flesh, ALWAYS. Now it may be churchy flesh (the worst kind) but it will still be the same flesh.
A Woman.
When a woman has met God the most noticeable thing will be her mouth. She will be quick to hear, slow to speak. Her hope will be completely lost in her relationship with God. If you think that she is placing her hope in you, RUN. RUN FAST, RUN HARD, just RUN. She is not ready and you are going to fail her hope. God must be her only hope. If her IDEAL of marriage has become an IDOL, then she will treat you like an IDOL until you fail her or disappoint her. Then she will seek to break you down or try to get you to act like her image of her IDOL that she has set up in her mind and emotions.
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Essence of Wholeness
I received an email and the pastor asked about wholeness. Some thoughts came together and I wanted to share them with you. Enjoy.
Whole Singles make great couples.
Whole Couples make great parents and produce whole families.
Whole Families make great members and servants of Christ.
Whole Members make great citizens.
There are those who remain whole single for the rest of their lives. Marriage would not make them whole.
There are those who remain who couples and do not have children. Children would not make them whole.
The answer lies in being able to answer the question, What does a whole person look like? What does it mean to be whole?
Two fractions marry and they multiple into a smaller fraction and eventually leave the marriage worse than they came in.
Whole means
1. There are two type of people in the world. The MORE-ites and the THANK-ites. The More-ites believe that you need more of God, more faith, more giving. They also believe you need more money, more time, more of something to make you whole. Some MORE-ites are very religious while others are very anti-religious. But they all believe that MORE is the answer. The THANK-ites are grateful for what they have. They may seem to need more but they are so overwhelmed with what they already have, it seems more than enough to them. They are grateful to their bones for what God has done in their life. To be whole means to be a THANK-ites. See Psalm 50 and Romans 1:18ff. The essence of sin is MORE. The Ten Commandments are about MORE versus ENOUGH.
2. Means a heart transfer. I trust God with my heart better than I trust myself. God has proved Himself faithful to the desires of my heart. I have proved myself faithful to my own lusts and selfish desire. God has set me free from me through His love and care. I entrust my heart into His hands and His care. I rest in His care and do not fret or worry. He is faithful. I know because I keep the score every week. Failing to keep the score and observe what God is doing in my life, leads me to doubt God and neglect His work in my life. Taking the time to write down the things God is doing and to stay up with Him means I am aware of the score. I am weekly humbled by His presence and power in my life. It is easy to give my heart to someone who is so dedicated to JOY in my life.
3. True to the Holy Spirit of God who resides in my heart. Integrity means that my life corresponds to the convictions of my heart. I do not live by shame or fear and though Satan is screaming my weaknesses, faults and failures before God 24/7, I can hear the Father quietly whispering who I am in His Son. I chose to believe and abide in the whispers of God’s heart rather than the shouting of Satan’s condemnation. When the Spirit of God convicts me of sin, though I may not fully understand what I have done, I simply respond by confession of the conviction. This brings cleansing and usually understanding comes after the obedience. I am also true to the Holy Spirit convicting me through those who are closest to me. They are wonderfully confident in my intimate relationship with God because of the times that He has used them to humble before their eyes and I submitted to what God was saying through them.
4. They live by joy and not happiness. Happiness is related to happy events while joy is related to relationships. They have learned that real grief always begets joy, always. So they are confident in God that when they encounter grief in their life or a friend’s life that it will be matured eventually into joy. This confidence is unexplainable to the one who does not know God and is powerfully attractive to those who sense they are lost. People centered by worship and joy are able to laugh and enjoy life without taking from life. They are able to pass through and have tasted the place of real, unending joy – heaven.
This person is whole. They are centered in their worship and their idols have been weakened and are in the process of being revealed and destroyed. They have been through the fire and hammer and their metal is tested and true. They are confident and yet gentle by His power present in their life. They are submitted to authority and handle power cautiously. They are able to enjoy happiness but do not need it to live. They live for JOY and therefore know how to go through the valley of grief to the mountain of joy.
Getting married, going into the ministry does not make you whole. The celebrated presence of Christ in your heart makes you whole. The wholeness is moving into the mind, will and feelings but the heart and center of the being is whole when Christ is Lord and Savior of the heart. 1-4 happen because we allow Christ to be who He is – they are a fruit issue of letting Christ BE. His BEING changes our BEING. A new being now sees different and begins to do different. But his doing is out of his BEING. The Law demanded a new BEING out of DOING and it did not work. Christ creates a new BEING person and we begin to DO what our heart wants to do and we are saved and being saved.
Getting married, going into the ministry, do what God told you to do, however, does make you complete. It is important to know the difference. What I do is a mission issue, a doing issue, a fruit issue. It is not a being issue. Being whole is a being issue. Nothing is added to me by being complete. I am completed by fulfilling my mission, by those gifts being drawn out of me and given to the Church and world for His sake. My being is not changed by my doing. My doing proves what my being is. I am complete when I do what I am supposed to do. I am whole when I allow Christ to complete my being. There is nothing but Christ to add to my being. This rest is wonderful and powerful. I highly recommend it.
Whole Singles make great couples.
Whole Couples make great parents and produce whole families.
Whole Families make great members and servants of Christ.
Whole Members make great citizens.
There are those who remain whole single for the rest of their lives. Marriage would not make them whole.
There are those who remain who couples and do not have children. Children would not make them whole.
The answer lies in being able to answer the question, What does a whole person look like? What does it mean to be whole?
Two fractions marry and they multiple into a smaller fraction and eventually leave the marriage worse than they came in.
Whole means
1. There are two type of people in the world. The MORE-ites and the THANK-ites. The More-ites believe that you need more of God, more faith, more giving. They also believe you need more money, more time, more of something to make you whole. Some MORE-ites are very religious while others are very anti-religious. But they all believe that MORE is the answer. The THANK-ites are grateful for what they have. They may seem to need more but they are so overwhelmed with what they already have, it seems more than enough to them. They are grateful to their bones for what God has done in their life. To be whole means to be a THANK-ites. See Psalm 50 and Romans 1:18ff. The essence of sin is MORE. The Ten Commandments are about MORE versus ENOUGH.
2. Means a heart transfer. I trust God with my heart better than I trust myself. God has proved Himself faithful to the desires of my heart. I have proved myself faithful to my own lusts and selfish desire. God has set me free from me through His love and care. I entrust my heart into His hands and His care. I rest in His care and do not fret or worry. He is faithful. I know because I keep the score every week. Failing to keep the score and observe what God is doing in my life, leads me to doubt God and neglect His work in my life. Taking the time to write down the things God is doing and to stay up with Him means I am aware of the score. I am weekly humbled by His presence and power in my life. It is easy to give my heart to someone who is so dedicated to JOY in my life.
3. True to the Holy Spirit of God who resides in my heart. Integrity means that my life corresponds to the convictions of my heart. I do not live by shame or fear and though Satan is screaming my weaknesses, faults and failures before God 24/7, I can hear the Father quietly whispering who I am in His Son. I chose to believe and abide in the whispers of God’s heart rather than the shouting of Satan’s condemnation. When the Spirit of God convicts me of sin, though I may not fully understand what I have done, I simply respond by confession of the conviction. This brings cleansing and usually understanding comes after the obedience. I am also true to the Holy Spirit convicting me through those who are closest to me. They are wonderfully confident in my intimate relationship with God because of the times that He has used them to humble before their eyes and I submitted to what God was saying through them.
4. They live by joy and not happiness. Happiness is related to happy events while joy is related to relationships. They have learned that real grief always begets joy, always. So they are confident in God that when they encounter grief in their life or a friend’s life that it will be matured eventually into joy. This confidence is unexplainable to the one who does not know God and is powerfully attractive to those who sense they are lost. People centered by worship and joy are able to laugh and enjoy life without taking from life. They are able to pass through and have tasted the place of real, unending joy – heaven.
This person is whole. They are centered in their worship and their idols have been weakened and are in the process of being revealed and destroyed. They have been through the fire and hammer and their metal is tested and true. They are confident and yet gentle by His power present in their life. They are submitted to authority and handle power cautiously. They are able to enjoy happiness but do not need it to live. They live for JOY and therefore know how to go through the valley of grief to the mountain of joy.
Getting married, going into the ministry does not make you whole. The celebrated presence of Christ in your heart makes you whole. The wholeness is moving into the mind, will and feelings but the heart and center of the being is whole when Christ is Lord and Savior of the heart. 1-4 happen because we allow Christ to be who He is – they are a fruit issue of letting Christ BE. His BEING changes our BEING. A new being now sees different and begins to do different. But his doing is out of his BEING. The Law demanded a new BEING out of DOING and it did not work. Christ creates a new BEING person and we begin to DO what our heart wants to do and we are saved and being saved.
Getting married, going into the ministry, do what God told you to do, however, does make you complete. It is important to know the difference. What I do is a mission issue, a doing issue, a fruit issue. It is not a being issue. Being whole is a being issue. Nothing is added to me by being complete. I am completed by fulfilling my mission, by those gifts being drawn out of me and given to the Church and world for His sake. My being is not changed by my doing. My doing proves what my being is. I am complete when I do what I am supposed to do. I am whole when I allow Christ to complete my being. There is nothing but Christ to add to my being. This rest is wonderful and powerful. I highly recommend it.
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