Inside of every son there is a way that seems right to him but the end thereof is death.
The Easy way.
The way of Escape.
The way of Excuse.
Men are born wanting easy women. They want marriage to be easy, dating to be easy and sex to be easy. They donot want to have to fight or work for anything. They want an easy job with an easy life.
Every man looks for a way of escape. Pornography, divorce, alcohol and drugs are another way of getting away from the issues.
You catch a boy with his hand in your cookie jar and ask him what he is doing and most men will say, "Nothing." He even may repeat what echoes in his soul, "The woman that THOU gaveth to me, she gaveth and I ateth."
A boy becoming a man has to learn to fight for each one of these. He has to learn to fight for what is right no matter the cost, not for the easy way.
He has to learn to take responsibility even when he is not sometimes responsible. The buck stops with him.
And he has to learn to stand and take the heat. That is a man. And a man becomes that by fighting those battles for himself and by himself.
A father can model and message these important examples but the son must learn to fight for himself.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Cherished by God
Well, if God chases me and expects me to chase Gabi...And God expects me to cherish Gabi, is God cherishing my heart?
Why does the thought of this scare me? It is like God is reaching inside, in a world, a realm where there is no map and no one has been there before. I don't know what HE is going to find. I fear a mess at best and worse, maybe the devil himself? Yet, I find this exploration, this desire wonderfully fulfilling and exciting. I can barely breathe. To let YOU in. To let YOU know me like I have never been known before. I do not know what the deep desires of my heart are. I must trust YOU. YOU touching the very essence of my being, that I have never trusted anyone with before. I do not even trust myself to go where YOU are desiring to go. But I must say, Go. Know me and let me know myself in YOU. YOU have always been my hope and my savior. Save me from me and my fears. Awaken those deep holy desires YOU planted deep in my heart. I trust YOU.
Why does the thought of this scare me? It is like God is reaching inside, in a world, a realm where there is no map and no one has been there before. I don't know what HE is going to find. I fear a mess at best and worse, maybe the devil himself? Yet, I find this exploration, this desire wonderfully fulfilling and exciting. I can barely breathe. To let YOU in. To let YOU know me like I have never been known before. I do not know what the deep desires of my heart are. I must trust YOU. YOU touching the very essence of my being, that I have never trusted anyone with before. I do not even trust myself to go where YOU are desiring to go. But I must say, Go. Know me and let me know myself in YOU. YOU have always been my hope and my savior. Save me from me and my fears. Awaken those deep holy desires YOU planted deep in my heart. I trust YOU.
God Chases Me
God commands that I chase Gabi. He placed a divine ache, promise, expectation that she will be chased all the days of her life. Her father was supposed to awake her to this desire and I am to complete the desire. Her sons are to help in their way but my task is special. As I do this with all my strength, I find myself weak and running on empty.
Then I realize another truth. Based upon Ephesians 5 what I am doing to my wife is what I can expect God to do with me. He chases me? Has that been my life experience? Dare I turn around and see if HE is there running after me? Yes, HE is and has always been. Wow! God is chasing me. Dare I stop and let HIM catch me? What would HE do with me if HE were to catch me? This is a reverse. I have been taught to chase God. The God-chasers. Is the secret to let God chase me? To relish in HIS chasing of my heart, to rest in HIS eventual capture again and again only to begin the chase again afresh the next day. Yes, I have the energy to chase Gabi, my wife, Tori my daughter because I too am being chased. Every day I now awaken and say, Let the race begin.
Then I realize another truth. Based upon Ephesians 5 what I am doing to my wife is what I can expect God to do with me. He chases me? Has that been my life experience? Dare I turn around and see if HE is there running after me? Yes, HE is and has always been. Wow! God is chasing me. Dare I stop and let HIM catch me? What would HE do with me if HE were to catch me? This is a reverse. I have been taught to chase God. The God-chasers. Is the secret to let God chase me? To relish in HIS chasing of my heart, to rest in HIS eventual capture again and again only to begin the chase again afresh the next day. Yes, I have the energy to chase Gabi, my wife, Tori my daughter because I too am being chased. Every day I now awaken and say, Let the race begin.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
What Mothers Do
Thank you to all the mothers who are out there. While the heart is so very tender, mothers have three basic responsibilites to their children.
1. Unconditional Rest.
2. Unconditional Presence.
3. Unconditional Voice.
Unconditional rest refers to the child moving toward the mother when tired. The mother comforts and then brings the child to a place of rest.
The child moves toward the mother in hunger, the mother gives the child's hunger rest.
The child moves toward the mother hurt, the mother fixes the ouchie.
The child moves toward the mother with a dirty diaper, the mother cleanses and restores the child. While the father and others can help, the mother is primary is imprinting the child to expect these basic needs to be taken care of for the rest of their lives.
Unconditional Presence. The mother is there. Always. And Loving. Even when the child does not deserve it. When the child is ill, the mother is present. The mother's unconditional presence brings quiet and rest to the child.
Unconditional Voice. The mother listens and celebrates the child's voice. The child learns that a certain voice will always be heard. The child begins to have confidence that their right voice will be heard and learns the difference about their wrong voice of complaining, accusing others, and other wrong use of their voice.
Some have suffered huge failure of their mother's to provide these basic needs. This creates gap in the person's life.
1. Unconditional Rest.
2. Unconditional Presence.
3. Unconditional Voice.
Unconditional rest refers to the child moving toward the mother when tired. The mother comforts and then brings the child to a place of rest.
The child moves toward the mother in hunger, the mother gives the child's hunger rest.
The child moves toward the mother hurt, the mother fixes the ouchie.
The child moves toward the mother with a dirty diaper, the mother cleanses and restores the child. While the father and others can help, the mother is primary is imprinting the child to expect these basic needs to be taken care of for the rest of their lives.
Unconditional Presence. The mother is there. Always. And Loving. Even when the child does not deserve it. When the child is ill, the mother is present. The mother's unconditional presence brings quiet and rest to the child.
Unconditional Voice. The mother listens and celebrates the child's voice. The child learns that a certain voice will always be heard. The child begins to have confidence that their right voice will be heard and learns the difference about their wrong voice of complaining, accusing others, and other wrong use of their voice.
Some have suffered huge failure of their mother's to provide these basic needs. This creates gap in the person's life.
Human Sexuality
I just finished a doctoral course on human sexuality. A few observations.
1. Stick the basics. God designed sex simple. One person for life, one in heart, soul and body. God is the Master Designer. Move away from the Master and the design gets confusing.
2. Sex is about connecting through the spirit using the body. This connection is built upon mutual exposure and seemingly weakness that produces great joy and strength. Sexual union that is wonderfully celebrated echoes God's heart for the family and the order which creation is dependent upon.
3. Sex is Powerful. God designed sex to be an oil to help married couples move through life together. Kept in its place it wonderfully celebrates both the male and female design.
4. Sex is Dangerous and Mysterious. There are certain aspects of the sexual experience we do not fully understand. Science continues to seek to understand the impact of right sex and wrong sex upon the mind, soul and spirit of the human race. The damage that is done to children is mystifying and defies evolutionary conclusions about our being.
God says enjoy, eat as much as you both enjoy, stay out of the ditches, stay on the road and keep looking ahead.
1. Stick the basics. God designed sex simple. One person for life, one in heart, soul and body. God is the Master Designer. Move away from the Master and the design gets confusing.
2. Sex is about connecting through the spirit using the body. This connection is built upon mutual exposure and seemingly weakness that produces great joy and strength. Sexual union that is wonderfully celebrated echoes God's heart for the family and the order which creation is dependent upon.
3. Sex is Powerful. God designed sex to be an oil to help married couples move through life together. Kept in its place it wonderfully celebrates both the male and female design.
4. Sex is Dangerous and Mysterious. There are certain aspects of the sexual experience we do not fully understand. Science continues to seek to understand the impact of right sex and wrong sex upon the mind, soul and spirit of the human race. The damage that is done to children is mystifying and defies evolutionary conclusions about our being.
God says enjoy, eat as much as you both enjoy, stay out of the ditches, stay on the road and keep looking ahead.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Simple Life
God is teaching me to simplify my life. Too many clothes, too much food, too much entertainment and too much noise.
1. Life the Simple and Pure life of Holy Obedience through Simple and Complete Faith in God.
2. Love the poor with my heart and hand. Insure that the hand always follows the heart no matter what. Do not let the mind in on that conversation. Teach the hand to always follow the heart and the Spirit of Christ. Always. And let Him decide who is the poor. I fast every month on the first three days of the month. Light lunch, whole wheat toast for breakfast and dinner. He chose a good friend who seems to be shallow in his relationships for the poor focus for May.
3. Thank You, Thank You, and Thank You. My first words and my last words. I work at a great Church! Thank You, God. I have a wonderful wife, Thank You God. I have wonderful children, Thank You God. I have wonderful friends (YOU!!!) Thank You, God. I have been trained and discipled by unbelievable leaders. Thank You God. I disciple unbelievable disciples, Thank You God. Wow, once you start you can't stop!!!
Simple Faith
Love the Poor with the heart and hand
Thanks forever...
Rod Stodghill
1. Life the Simple and Pure life of Holy Obedience through Simple and Complete Faith in God.
2. Love the poor with my heart and hand. Insure that the hand always follows the heart no matter what. Do not let the mind in on that conversation. Teach the hand to always follow the heart and the Spirit of Christ. Always. And let Him decide who is the poor. I fast every month on the first three days of the month. Light lunch, whole wheat toast for breakfast and dinner. He chose a good friend who seems to be shallow in his relationships for the poor focus for May.
3. Thank You, Thank You, and Thank You. My first words and my last words. I work at a great Church! Thank You, God. I have a wonderful wife, Thank You God. I have wonderful children, Thank You God. I have wonderful friends (YOU!!!) Thank You, God. I have been trained and discipled by unbelievable leaders. Thank You God. I disciple unbelievable disciples, Thank You God. Wow, once you start you can't stop!!!
Simple Faith
Love the Poor with the heart and hand
Thanks forever...
Rod Stodghill
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Essence of Wholeness
I received an email and the pastor asked about wholeness. Some thoughts came together and I wanted to share them with you. Enjoy.
Whole Singles make great couples.
Whole Couples make great parents and produce whole families.
Whole Families make great members and servants of Christ.
Whole Members make great citizens.
There are those who remain whole single for the rest of their lives. Marriage would not make them whole.
There are those who remain who couples and do not have children. Children would not make them whole.
The answer lies in being able to answer the question, What does a whole person look like? What does it mean to be whole?
Two fractions marry and they multiple into a smaller fraction and eventually leave the marriage worse than they came in.
Whole means
1. There are two type of people in the world. The MORE-ites and the THANK-ites. The More-ites believe that you need more of God, more faith, more giving. They also believe you need more money, more time, more of something to make you whole. Some MORE-ites are very religious while others are very anti-religious. But they all believe that MORE is the answer. The THANK-ites are grateful for what they have. They may seem to need more but they are so overwhelmed with what they already have, it seems more than enough to them. They are grateful to their bones for what God has done in their life. To be whole means to be a THANK-ites. See Psalm 50 and Romans 1:18ff. The essence of sin is MORE. The Ten Commandments are about MORE versus ENOUGH.
2. Means a heart transfer. I trust God with my heart better than I trust myself. God has proved Himself faithful to the desires of my heart. I have proved myself faithful to my own lusts and selfish desire. God has set me free from me through His love and care. I entrust my heart into His hands and His care. I rest in His care and do not fret or worry. He is faithful. I know because I keep the score every week. Failing to keep the score and observe what God is doing in my life, leads me to doubt God and neglect His work in my life. Taking the time to write down the things God is doing and to stay up with Him means I am aware of the score. I am weekly humbled by His presence and power in my life. It is easy to give my heart to someone who is so dedicated to JOY in my life.
3. True to the Holy Spirit of God who resides in my heart. Integrity means that my life corresponds to the convictions of my heart. I do not live by shame or fear and though Satan is screaming my weaknesses, faults and failures before God 24/7, I can hear the Father quietly whispering who I am in His Son. I chose to believe and abide in the whispers of God’s heart rather than the shouting of Satan’s condemnation. When the Spirit of God convicts me of sin, though I may not fully understand what I have done, I simply respond by confession of the conviction. This brings cleansing and usually understanding comes after the obedience. I am also true to the Holy Spirit convicting me through those who are closest to me. They are wonderfully confident in my intimate relationship with God because of the times that He has used them to humble before their eyes and I submitted to what God was saying through them.
4. They live by joy and not happiness. Happiness is related to happy events while joy is related to relationships. They have learned that real grief always begets joy, always. So they are confident in God that when they encounter grief in their life or a friend’s life that it will be matured eventually into joy. This confidence is unexplainable to the one who does not know God and is powerfully attractive to those who sense they are lost. People centered by worship and joy are able to laugh and enjoy life without taking from life. They are able to pass through and have tasted the place of real, unending joy – heaven.
This person is whole. They are centered in their worship and their idols have been weakened and are in the process of being revealed and destroyed. They have been through the fire and hammer and their metal is tested and true. They are confident and yet gentle by His power present in their life. They are submitted to authority and handle power cautiously. They are able to enjoy happiness but do not need it to live. They live for JOY and therefore know how to go through the valley of grief to the mountain of joy.
Getting married, going into the ministry does not make you whole. The celebrated presence of Christ in your heart makes you whole. The wholeness is moving into the mind, will and feelings but the heart and center of the being is whole when Christ is Lord and Savior of the heart. 1-4 happen because we allow Christ to be who He is – they are a fruit issue of letting Christ BE. His BEING changes our BEING. A new being now sees different and begins to do different. But his doing is out of his BEING. The Law demanded a new BEING out of DOING and it did not work. Christ creates a new BEING person and we begin to DO what our heart wants to do and we are saved and being saved.
Getting married, going into the ministry, do what God told you to do, however, does make you complete. It is important to know the difference. What I do is a mission issue, a doing issue, a fruit issue. It is not a being issue. Being whole is a being issue. Nothing is added to me by being complete. I am completed by fulfilling my mission, by those gifts being drawn out of me and given to the Church and world for His sake. My being is not changed by my doing. My doing proves what my being is. I am complete when I do what I am supposed to do. I am whole when I allow Christ to complete my being. There is nothing but Christ to add to my being. This rest is wonderful and powerful. I highly recommend it.
Whole Singles make great couples.
Whole Couples make great parents and produce whole families.
Whole Families make great members and servants of Christ.
Whole Members make great citizens.
There are those who remain whole single for the rest of their lives. Marriage would not make them whole.
There are those who remain who couples and do not have children. Children would not make them whole.
The answer lies in being able to answer the question, What does a whole person look like? What does it mean to be whole?
Two fractions marry and they multiple into a smaller fraction and eventually leave the marriage worse than they came in.
Whole means
1. There are two type of people in the world. The MORE-ites and the THANK-ites. The More-ites believe that you need more of God, more faith, more giving. They also believe you need more money, more time, more of something to make you whole. Some MORE-ites are very religious while others are very anti-religious. But they all believe that MORE is the answer. The THANK-ites are grateful for what they have. They may seem to need more but they are so overwhelmed with what they already have, it seems more than enough to them. They are grateful to their bones for what God has done in their life. To be whole means to be a THANK-ites. See Psalm 50 and Romans 1:18ff. The essence of sin is MORE. The Ten Commandments are about MORE versus ENOUGH.
2. Means a heart transfer. I trust God with my heart better than I trust myself. God has proved Himself faithful to the desires of my heart. I have proved myself faithful to my own lusts and selfish desire. God has set me free from me through His love and care. I entrust my heart into His hands and His care. I rest in His care and do not fret or worry. He is faithful. I know because I keep the score every week. Failing to keep the score and observe what God is doing in my life, leads me to doubt God and neglect His work in my life. Taking the time to write down the things God is doing and to stay up with Him means I am aware of the score. I am weekly humbled by His presence and power in my life. It is easy to give my heart to someone who is so dedicated to JOY in my life.
3. True to the Holy Spirit of God who resides in my heart. Integrity means that my life corresponds to the convictions of my heart. I do not live by shame or fear and though Satan is screaming my weaknesses, faults and failures before God 24/7, I can hear the Father quietly whispering who I am in His Son. I chose to believe and abide in the whispers of God’s heart rather than the shouting of Satan’s condemnation. When the Spirit of God convicts me of sin, though I may not fully understand what I have done, I simply respond by confession of the conviction. This brings cleansing and usually understanding comes after the obedience. I am also true to the Holy Spirit convicting me through those who are closest to me. They are wonderfully confident in my intimate relationship with God because of the times that He has used them to humble before their eyes and I submitted to what God was saying through them.
4. They live by joy and not happiness. Happiness is related to happy events while joy is related to relationships. They have learned that real grief always begets joy, always. So they are confident in God that when they encounter grief in their life or a friend’s life that it will be matured eventually into joy. This confidence is unexplainable to the one who does not know God and is powerfully attractive to those who sense they are lost. People centered by worship and joy are able to laugh and enjoy life without taking from life. They are able to pass through and have tasted the place of real, unending joy – heaven.
This person is whole. They are centered in their worship and their idols have been weakened and are in the process of being revealed and destroyed. They have been through the fire and hammer and their metal is tested and true. They are confident and yet gentle by His power present in their life. They are submitted to authority and handle power cautiously. They are able to enjoy happiness but do not need it to live. They live for JOY and therefore know how to go through the valley of grief to the mountain of joy.
Getting married, going into the ministry does not make you whole. The celebrated presence of Christ in your heart makes you whole. The wholeness is moving into the mind, will and feelings but the heart and center of the being is whole when Christ is Lord and Savior of the heart. 1-4 happen because we allow Christ to be who He is – they are a fruit issue of letting Christ BE. His BEING changes our BEING. A new being now sees different and begins to do different. But his doing is out of his BEING. The Law demanded a new BEING out of DOING and it did not work. Christ creates a new BEING person and we begin to DO what our heart wants to do and we are saved and being saved.
Getting married, going into the ministry, do what God told you to do, however, does make you complete. It is important to know the difference. What I do is a mission issue, a doing issue, a fruit issue. It is not a being issue. Being whole is a being issue. Nothing is added to me by being complete. I am completed by fulfilling my mission, by those gifts being drawn out of me and given to the Church and world for His sake. My being is not changed by my doing. My doing proves what my being is. I am complete when I do what I am supposed to do. I am whole when I allow Christ to complete my being. There is nothing but Christ to add to my being. This rest is wonderful and powerful. I highly recommend it.
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