Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Fear

Andrew just called from Colorado. He has returned back to the place of the accident, where he lost control of a hang-glider type of kite and fell 20 feet and then was dragged 30 yards or so. He shattered his inner ankle bone into at least 7 pieces.

He mentioned the thrill of the air lifting the harness, the kite with him in it. The thrill lasted for about 8 seconds and then there was several seconds of terror as a gust of wind lifted him up and carried him away. The sense of loss of control. The danger and the power of the indiscriminate wind. A friend that became an instant enemy, seemingly desperately intent upon causing great pain and damage. Immortal becomes mortal. A teenager believing he is immortal smacks into reality at about 30 mph and shatters his ankle bone and a false sense of godness.

May I speak as a father? Looking into my son's eyes and seeing that pain did not bring me the sense of joy that I thought it would. This is a rite of passage. From childish thinking to adult thinking. Yet it brought me no joy.

There is a profound sense of sadness. It is as if the earth failed my child. Perhaps the Tree of Life, the leaves, would have been used in this situation to heal. He is awakened to his mortality but so am I, again. Trusting what I can not see with my eyes but I know in my heart.