Friday, February 17, 2012

How to Recognize a Real Man

There are five basic charactics of a man that has been made by God Himself. Only God can make a tree and a man. Any other thing is still a child, a boy and will always be a boy. Now, they may be a nice boy, a well behaved boy but they are not a man.

1. Real men fear God. They believe God is real and that they will give an account to Him about how they act and live life. This fear is real and controlling. There is nothing else that comes close to controling their life than their holy fear of God. It is not a fear of eminent judgement but a respect for the eye of God.

2. Real men love with Agape love. They are able to love because they have been loved with Agape by God Himself. Their fear has awaken them to a holy sense of worship and also their own failure to serve God. This failure led to a bold, fearful and naked confession to God. This has led to a personal experience of God's Agape love. They have been overwhelmed by His love. They delight to share that love with others yet to share the fear of God brings greater joy.

3. Real men long for and seek to love ONE woman for the rest of their life. In every man God places a desire to find one princess, one queen, one love that will shake him to his bones. Nothing will move him greater other than his fear and Agape love than this woman. There is nothing that walks the earth that pleases or pains him more than this one woman. He delights in her shape, her knee caps, her big toes. Nothing is out of place, or mishapped because it is hers and he loves everything that is hers. He delights in her gift of herself to him. He would love to taste the fruit of her love but his fear of God constrains him.

4. He is destined for a Noble Cause. He does not entangle himself in petty fights but longs for the true Noble Cause for which he is willing even to die for. His true friends are too seeking their Noble Cause. To discover his Noble Cause he must have his queen at his side and his children in his lap. They are the center of his Noble Cause. He will overflow from the marriage, into the family and then into the community has he seeks and fulfills his noble cause. Some are aware of their Noble Cause from childhood while others discovers theirs while helping others find and fulfill their own.

5. He is humbled by the prophesy of his mentors, peers and disciplies. They have spoken into his life and because of the greatness of their own lives they have authority to speak into his. He is continually humbled by their desire to be close to him and learn from him as they seek to have him help them in their greatness. The echos of greatness begins early and follows him all the days of his life, but he is not overwhelmed with his greatness. He is humbled by his own weakness and failures and is horribly dependent upon God to finish his course.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

How to know if God has changed someone

God’s work is powerful and there are signs leftover when God completes His work.
1. Before the change there are three things that I look for.
a. The person is desperate for change.
b. The person’s toys and coping mechanisms are not working 100%.
c. There is someone in their life that is calling upon God for change. There maybe a small child or a parent but someone somewhere is making a connection upstairs.

2. During the change brokenness is the key element. The person’s life is horribly and wonderfully exposed to God’s light and the pain is unbearable. During that pain time God is working deep in the person’s life and making changes. Sometimes it takes years to fully see what God did during the unbelievably painful time. Surgery is horribly painful – the doctor has to cut to get in and sometimes cut things out to help the person get back to health. God is a willing surgeon who will do whatever is necessary to insure His children are healthy. There is not one thing that He will not use in your life to help you return to health.

3. Quiet. The person gets quiet. There is a peace in their heart that they cannot explain. There may not be peace on the outside but they have been trained by the pain to rest in the peace without answers. The answers come, when they are supposed to, but not because the person fretted until they were given an answer.

4. The change lasts. When God changes someone it lasts into the future. The change is so powerful it can impact children, family and friends. I saw God change Alva. He was acting out in horrible ways and hurting a lot of people. I saw God change him. He was different. And I wanted that difference. I wanted to be changed like that. And God did it for me too.

People Can’t Change

Wow, is that a powerful statement or what. I am making a declaration of something that I have learned from counseling and coaching people for over 30 years – People can’t change.
We depend upon people to change. We marry someone expecting that marriage will do it and make the person change. We believe someone when they say that they are going to change. We believe hiring that certain person will make the difference and because they have a job they will change.

Let me make a crucial difference in our language. People mature and un-mature. But people under their own power do not change. You make the apple smaller or bigger but an apple cannot change from being an apple.

My greatest grief is watching seemingly intelligent and devout believers in Jesus marry someone BANKING on Jesus changing the person. You get to KEEP what you MARRY. Stop pretending. And some women believe that having sex with a man will change him. No, if he is an adulterer at heart, sex, less or more is not going to change him. He may be intoxicated with you for a while but he is going to be and do what he is.

Now, God and God alone retains the right to “save” people. He can take a man that is a lemon and change him into a holy olive from the inside out. That man will then begin to work out his salvation. Over time his “olive-ness” will be known to all. In his infancy he will still echo some of the lemon-ness of his old life. But God will correct and discipline and bring him to repentance. But don’t you bank on it.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

A Secret Ache of Every Man's Heart

EMOTE ME!!! The ache of every man is that his wife, daughters and mothers would be able to hear him without him having to speak a word. Peter whispers this secret in 1 Peter 3:1-6. Your man can be won without a word!

Most men are not able to process their emotions well. We were designed that way by God. Blame HIM, ladies. No, better yet. Learn how to EMOTE us.

Imagine grabbing a hold of our emotions, pulling them a little of the way out of us, not too far. And express the emotions. Do not pull them into your self - otherwise you will feminize them. A lot of women expect men to feel feminine with their emotions. WE can't. We are men and we are made that way from the inside out. Not the outside in. We are not nurtured into men but men on the inside waiting to be nurtured and discovered and released by ourselves and others around us.

Be very cautious in emoting us. We will not be used to this process. Gabi is learning this well. One time, coming home from a long day of counseling, I was barking at the kids. Rather than barking back for barking at her kids, she looked into my eye and emoted me. She said, no one said thank you for all that you did today. I am sorry and thank you. You were great today. I cried. Did not think I needed to cry, I mean water out of the faucet crying but it came. I quickly dried up, gave her a hug and walked away looking over my shoulder as she walked back into the kitchen with a new sense of power in her life. I was stunned, humbled, excited and scared. Now I know what people feel when God gives me insight into what is going on inside of them. Wow.

I love it and hate it. And it brings great joy to her when I relax and let her in. More than joy!!!