I have dealt with two young married women who had no father to speak of in their lives. Yet they have become powerful and beautiful women, wives and mothers. Single moms, pray, pray and pray. God delights to care for orphans. When a father leaves or never shows up, the damage is powerful and real. Yet God is able to redeem those who have been abandoned.
I was asked a couple of weekends ago what is a daughter to do if the father has left? How does she get that feminine awakening that only a father can do? Ask God for it. He is the real Father any way. I am a mere step father to my children- He is their real Father. God has been that father to me. God has raised up men around me again and again to father me into maturity. These are powerful men who took an interest in me and I took an interest in them as well. And I grew.
One of the good things about not having gotten parenting and marriage stuff from my family was that I had to learn it from scratch. In learning the basics, wrestling through these things caused me to know those things inside out. I can explain them to the smallest child or oldest grandparent. That which Satan intended to use to destroy me, God is now using to grow me and minister through me.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Known by My Groan
Want to know who you are? Let your heart get hurt!
If you really want to know the person that God Himself created you to be, then love everyone with all your heart. You will get hurt, probably a lot and you will also learn a lot about yourself.
Some of you are basically miserable because you have believed a reason to not love. You are all backed up in your spirit, soul, mind and probably body because you are managing someone's else's sin done to you. Let it go. Forgive and love. It not only sets them free - it does wonders for you.
Tonight, as you pray before you go to bed, just release a groan. Listen to what is contained in the groan. Romans 8 says there are groans too deep for the mind. Release that groan and listen. Sometimes we get wounded in the middle of the day and we carry the wound all day long. When we get home we take it out of the dog or worse our family. Learn to know when you have been wounded, even if it is only a bruise.
Listen to another's groan, if you dare. Pray back their groan with words. Sometimes someone will groan in your presence with a sigh and will not want you to verbalize what they said. Just because you know does not mean that God wants you to tell them. Learn to know what is right in each situation by listening to His Spirit through your heart.
Journal your groans. God does. You are going to be surprised at the spiritual depth and wisdom of your groans. They did not originate with you. The Holy Spirit is co-creating and some of you have had parents and grandparents and forefathers breathe those sacred groans into your heart. To listen to an African-American sing one of the spirituals that have come out of slavery is humbling for an Caucasian American. You can hear the connection going years back to the Middle Passage across the ocean, Jim Crowism and even now the lies that still permeate our culture and community. The groan was redeeming and guiding.
The best way to learn your husband is to listen and let your heart grasp without interpreting his groans. The best way to learn your wife is to listen and let your heart grasp without interpreting in any way what her heart is groaning.
The best way to know God is to listen to His groans.
PS also what makes His heart laugh.
If you really want to know the person that God Himself created you to be, then love everyone with all your heart. You will get hurt, probably a lot and you will also learn a lot about yourself.
Some of you are basically miserable because you have believed a reason to not love. You are all backed up in your spirit, soul, mind and probably body because you are managing someone's else's sin done to you. Let it go. Forgive and love. It not only sets them free - it does wonders for you.
Tonight, as you pray before you go to bed, just release a groan. Listen to what is contained in the groan. Romans 8 says there are groans too deep for the mind. Release that groan and listen. Sometimes we get wounded in the middle of the day and we carry the wound all day long. When we get home we take it out of the dog or worse our family. Learn to know when you have been wounded, even if it is only a bruise.
Listen to another's groan, if you dare. Pray back their groan with words. Sometimes someone will groan in your presence with a sigh and will not want you to verbalize what they said. Just because you know does not mean that God wants you to tell them. Learn to know what is right in each situation by listening to His Spirit through your heart.
Journal your groans. God does. You are going to be surprised at the spiritual depth and wisdom of your groans. They did not originate with you. The Holy Spirit is co-creating and some of you have had parents and grandparents and forefathers breathe those sacred groans into your heart. To listen to an African-American sing one of the spirituals that have come out of slavery is humbling for an Caucasian American. You can hear the connection going years back to the Middle Passage across the ocean, Jim Crowism and even now the lies that still permeate our culture and community. The groan was redeeming and guiding.
The best way to learn your husband is to listen and let your heart grasp without interpreting his groans. The best way to learn your wife is to listen and let your heart grasp without interpreting in any way what her heart is groaning.
The best way to know God is to listen to His groans.
PS also what makes His heart laugh.
Hidden in the Shadow
Thanks for Chuch and Ginny for this open heart revelation.
The mind on its own will always drift toward foolish speculation.
The stomach and the loins will always drift toward foolish appetites when left alone.
Fears and feelings will always abandon truth and drift toward deception and lies.
The only way to live with these things is to keep them in the shadow of the heart.
The mind works well when it is submitted to the heart. The mind seeks the facts, cold hard facts and most of the time can not and will not discern the truth. The mind submits to the heart when it is forced to abide in the shadow of the heart. The mind makes a great servant but a horrible master.
The stomach is quiet and careful in the shadow of the heart. The heart is well aware that the stomach and loins can provide a comfort that is offensive to the heart and spirit of ourselves and God.
Walking this out is very hard and takes a lot of practice and interaction with others who are trying to walk the same path. It is far easier to know someone else's heart rather than our own. So get into an intense relationship and learn their heart and have them help you learn how to keep your feelings, appetites, thoughts and desires in the shadow of your as you keep your heart in the shadow of His heart with in you.
The mind on its own will always drift toward foolish speculation.
The stomach and the loins will always drift toward foolish appetites when left alone.
Fears and feelings will always abandon truth and drift toward deception and lies.
The only way to live with these things is to keep them in the shadow of the heart.
The mind works well when it is submitted to the heart. The mind seeks the facts, cold hard facts and most of the time can not and will not discern the truth. The mind submits to the heart when it is forced to abide in the shadow of the heart. The mind makes a great servant but a horrible master.
The stomach is quiet and careful in the shadow of the heart. The heart is well aware that the stomach and loins can provide a comfort that is offensive to the heart and spirit of ourselves and God.
Walking this out is very hard and takes a lot of practice and interaction with others who are trying to walk the same path. It is far easier to know someone else's heart rather than our own. So get into an intense relationship and learn their heart and have them help you learn how to keep your feelings, appetites, thoughts and desires in the shadow of your as you keep your heart in the shadow of His heart with in you.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
When you fail
Wisdom from a friend
When you fail
1. Clean out your gut. You did it. Deal with it. Get out the hope that you would not be caught, would not deal with the consequences of what you have done. Deal with what you have done, why you did it and clean it out.
2. Own it. Own the damage, own the consequences. No shame, no blame and own it.
3. Ask God to humble you. Look for it, accept it. I messed up because I was independent and did not need God. Now I need Him. Look for Him to celebrate and enjoy that naked dependency upon Himself. He delights in it more than a new mother delights in her child's dependency upon her.
When you fail
1. Clean out your gut. You did it. Deal with it. Get out the hope that you would not be caught, would not deal with the consequences of what you have done. Deal with what you have done, why you did it and clean it out.
2. Own it. Own the damage, own the consequences. No shame, no blame and own it.
3. Ask God to humble you. Look for it, accept it. I messed up because I was independent and did not need God. Now I need Him. Look for Him to celebrate and enjoy that naked dependency upon Himself. He delights in it more than a new mother delights in her child's dependency upon her.
Dear Job,
Job, shut up! i know you want to answer your foolish friends foolish assumptions. You know that your heart is NOT convicting you of sin yet you try to answer their accusations as if there was some truth to what they are saying. Be still and be quiet. Do not let them move you off your confidence. God is good - all the time. Yes, I know you have suffered unbelievable loss, more pain than a person can manage in a day or even in a life time. I am sorry. But be quiet. If you open your mouth your bowels will open and you will spew trash you know is not true. You will think for a moment that you will feel better but you won't. You will feel awful! And whoever you spew on will feel awful as well. Be still and wait for God. Learn to still your soul before Him. Let the tears and pain of your situation flow freely but open only your heart and not your bowels. Learn the difference, precious child.
In this moment of pain God is working deep in your heart and your soul. He is moving your soul furniture around and you are going to be different because of it. You will not even be aware of the changes that He has made until much later. Let Him do His work in your heart. The pain and grief causes things to float to the surface so that He can deal with them. Let your stuff float and face Him. Release the tears, the groans, the hopes and the joys from deep inside of your being.
Years from now God will use the depth of the work that He is doing right now to lead you into deeper truth that you would not be able to grasp if it were not for the pain and grief that is wising you up even now. The fire burns the HAY, WOOD and STUBBLE and the gold of faith remains, purfied. God delights to use that which we cannot grasp to purify us. Trust Him and let His fire seek your heart
In this moment of pain God is working deep in your heart and your soul. He is moving your soul furniture around and you are going to be different because of it. You will not even be aware of the changes that He has made until much later. Let Him do His work in your heart. The pain and grief causes things to float to the surface so that He can deal with them. Let your stuff float and face Him. Release the tears, the groans, the hopes and the joys from deep inside of your being.
Years from now God will use the depth of the work that He is doing right now to lead you into deeper truth that you would not be able to grasp if it were not for the pain and grief that is wising you up even now. The fire burns the HAY, WOOD and STUBBLE and the gold of faith remains, purfied. God delights to use that which we cannot grasp to purify us. Trust Him and let His fire seek your heart
Friday, September 3, 2010
Ouch
My beautiful daughter. She lives exactly 797 miles from my front door. I took her to Colorado. I encouraged her to follow her heart and I am very proud of the courage that she displayed in boldly leaving my house and beginning her college education. Yet my heart hurts.
I wanted to keep her at home. For that matter, I never wanted her to even go to school, kindergarten to be exact. The pain is no different. Yet I began letting her go then. She stated on the way to Colorado that she was concerned about my ability to be able to let her go in marriage. MARRIAGE? Who is thinking about letting go in marriage? I guess that is her gentle and loving way of saying get ready for the pain. I love the pain. It is a right pain to have. She is where she is supposed to be for now. Yet the strain on my heart is wonderful and painful. Somehow I am aware of the pain that Christ has for me, He longs to call me home, to His side, to rest with Him forever. Yet there are things that I must do, and be for Him and His.
What a joy it is for me as the father of Tori to know that her brother is close by and cares for her. Let us therefore love one another with His love. I know it pleases me to no end to think of my son acting with my heart on behalf of his sister. Peace...
I wanted to keep her at home. For that matter, I never wanted her to even go to school, kindergarten to be exact. The pain is no different. Yet I began letting her go then. She stated on the way to Colorado that she was concerned about my ability to be able to let her go in marriage. MARRIAGE? Who is thinking about letting go in marriage? I guess that is her gentle and loving way of saying get ready for the pain. I love the pain. It is a right pain to have. She is where she is supposed to be for now. Yet the strain on my heart is wonderful and painful. Somehow I am aware of the pain that Christ has for me, He longs to call me home, to His side, to rest with Him forever. Yet there are things that I must do, and be for Him and His.
What a joy it is for me as the father of Tori to know that her brother is close by and cares for her. Let us therefore love one another with His love. I know it pleases me to no end to think of my son acting with my heart on behalf of his sister. Peace...
Why did you allow that wrong to remain?
I asked a young man the other day, why did he allow that wrong to remain in his life? I was floored by the depth of his answer.
Because I thought I could manage sin. Even to type this floors me. Manage sin? Touch sin? I was humbled by this simple concept and yet he was not down with me yet.
This false thought led to another thought that the young man articulated as I asked him what other thoughts, feelings led him to continue in the wrong. Wrong was easier than right. Again, floored by the simplicity and profound statement. His wife was not impressed due to the intensity of her pain from his betrayl and failure but I knew that he had been communing with GOD. Wow.
I asked another question, where was those two thoughts, Able to Manage Sin and Wrong is easier than Right leading you to? Where were you headed before God interceded in your life.
Wrong = Right.
Step One I can manage a little sin...
Step Two Wrong is now easier than Right...
Step Three Wrong is Right...
Lord God, please help us that we would not manage the sin in our lives, manage the wrong but help us to abandon ourselves to You so that You would completely save us from our wrong and our sin so that we may live out Your Right and please You. Forgive us when we have allowed wrong to abide in our lives. Bless this young, wise man. Bless his bride as she heals from her pain.
NOTE: This does not refer to one couple or one man but rather several that I have seen over the last few months. The facts have been generalized to present how God enlightens and heals without revealing sacred information that was shared with a pastor.
Because I thought I could manage sin. Even to type this floors me. Manage sin? Touch sin? I was humbled by this simple concept and yet he was not down with me yet.
This false thought led to another thought that the young man articulated as I asked him what other thoughts, feelings led him to continue in the wrong. Wrong was easier than right. Again, floored by the simplicity and profound statement. His wife was not impressed due to the intensity of her pain from his betrayl and failure but I knew that he had been communing with GOD. Wow.
I asked another question, where was those two thoughts, Able to Manage Sin and Wrong is easier than Right leading you to? Where were you headed before God interceded in your life.
Wrong = Right.
Step One I can manage a little sin...
Step Two Wrong is now easier than Right...
Step Three Wrong is Right...
Lord God, please help us that we would not manage the sin in our lives, manage the wrong but help us to abandon ourselves to You so that You would completely save us from our wrong and our sin so that we may live out Your Right and please You. Forgive us when we have allowed wrong to abide in our lives. Bless this young, wise man. Bless his bride as she heals from her pain.
NOTE: This does not refer to one couple or one man but rather several that I have seen over the last few months. The facts have been generalized to present how God enlightens and heals without revealing sacred information that was shared with a pastor.
The Prophet has spoken
Stephen Hawking, a British theoritical physicist, states that the universe can create itself out of nothing. Spontaneous creation, he wants us to believe. He believes that something came out of nothing. That there was nill, nothing, empty space and that spontaneously something came out of nothing.
There is a problem with his basic math skills. Sometimes we get so very, very smart that we over look the basics.
0 + 0 always and forever = 0.
Nothing + Nothing will always = Nothing.
You can not reproduce 0+0=1 in any lab in the world. Yet Mr. Hawking wants us to follow him by faith. Faith in his mind, his reasoning, in his ablity to see things we can't see. He wants us to respect him like he is a god or at least a sacred prophet entrusted with truth that we mortals can not and will not be able to attain to.
We believe in a supernatural God who can supercede the natural laws.
0 + GOD = Creation.
Nothing + God = Creation.
18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools.
Romans 1:18-22 NIV http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%201&version=NIV
That which is known about God is known in the heart and not the mind. The mind demands to understand and the basic concept of God is beyond the mind's ability to grasp. The mind deals in facts while the heart deals in truth. Facts can be made to point in all sorts of directions that lead to wrong conclusions. The truth stands for itself. It is sad, however, that most Christians do not stand for truth.
There is a problem with his basic math skills. Sometimes we get so very, very smart that we over look the basics.
0 + 0 always and forever = 0.
Nothing + Nothing will always = Nothing.
You can not reproduce 0+0=1 in any lab in the world. Yet Mr. Hawking wants us to follow him by faith. Faith in his mind, his reasoning, in his ablity to see things we can't see. He wants us to respect him like he is a god or at least a sacred prophet entrusted with truth that we mortals can not and will not be able to attain to.
We believe in a supernatural God who can supercede the natural laws.
0 + GOD = Creation.
Nothing + God = Creation.
18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools.
Romans 1:18-22 NIV http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%201&version=NIV
That which is known about God is known in the heart and not the mind. The mind demands to understand and the basic concept of God is beyond the mind's ability to grasp. The mind deals in facts while the heart deals in truth. Facts can be made to point in all sorts of directions that lead to wrong conclusions. The truth stands for itself. It is sad, however, that most Christians do not stand for truth.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Pray your way through
Several friends heard about a trip I was trying to put together for my family. We were flying to Germany for my wife's parent's 50th. We hoped to visit Switzerland and show our kids where we hung out when I was stationed in Germany. The money was not coming together and the friends tried to get it together for us. But several things happened and business went bad for each of them. They wanted to pay our way to Switzerland but was limited so they began to pray our way to Switzerland. Things changed.
We rented a diesel van and it got great gas mileage. We were able to secure a chalet on the mountain side for $100 per day. The chalet had a full kitchen so our food bill was lowered. The hotel where we were going to stay at was close to $100 per person per day. We ended up going and spending a couple of days on the mountain side at a low cost. We learned something that is still with us. Pray your way through before you plan or pay your way through.
Tori was short for her upcoming tuition payment. We prayed and then looked at the options. We were turned down and it looked like there were going to be severe issues in getting her into school. And then Concord came through. The art of being still, sensing the peace of God and moving toward Him was powerful. It is not that planning is not important but rather that prayer must always go first. There is a way to pray, listening quietly as you move through life and each day. This is a skill to be encouraged and developed.
We are now facing another issue and we are praying our way through. We are lifting the issue before God quietly and consistently and leaving it there on the altar before Him. It is tempting to touch it and try to deal with before the time. This involves the waiting and trusting on Him.
We rented a diesel van and it got great gas mileage. We were able to secure a chalet on the mountain side for $100 per day. The chalet had a full kitchen so our food bill was lowered. The hotel where we were going to stay at was close to $100 per person per day. We ended up going and spending a couple of days on the mountain side at a low cost. We learned something that is still with us. Pray your way through before you plan or pay your way through.
Tori was short for her upcoming tuition payment. We prayed and then looked at the options. We were turned down and it looked like there were going to be severe issues in getting her into school. And then Concord came through. The art of being still, sensing the peace of God and moving toward Him was powerful. It is not that planning is not important but rather that prayer must always go first. There is a way to pray, listening quietly as you move through life and each day. This is a skill to be encouraged and developed.
We are now facing another issue and we are praying our way through. We are lifting the issue before God quietly and consistently and leaving it there on the altar before Him. It is tempting to touch it and try to deal with before the time. This involves the waiting and trusting on Him.
Have you ever encountered the UGLY in you?
I was helping a young man face the damage he had done to his marriage. I asked him a simple question Why did you do what you knew was wrong?
I asked him to be careful about his answer and realized that I cannot know answer the question for myself. LORD God have mercy.
Wow, the power of sin. There is a NO that still floats in my mind, feelings and thoughts. This NO demands that there be no GOD to worship, to give totally allegiance to any person outside of myself. The grace of GRACE. Sometimes I can't say YES but I know HE is worthy. The best that I can do is still myself before HIM and ask for grace to say YES. Not just OK or go ahead but YES!
It amazes me, grieves me that after all I have seen of God's work and hand in my life and others, I still doubt, I still say NO. I am in as much need of GRACE today as I was thirty years ago. Then I could blame it on being a fooling youth, now? Wretched, miserable, poor, blind, naked. Yes and totally loved.
My weakness does not smell, my sin does but not my weakness but I despise it the same. My weakness reminds me of the birth of my children - they were delightfully wretched and miserably dependent upon their mother and me and we loved it. They were also poor, blind and naked. Is my NO from my weakness or sin? The GRACE of YES is powerful, wonderful and very fulfilling. I recognize that I am not fully saved - will be when He appears. My heart is saved by which I long for the eternal YES breathed into my soul and body.
Why did I sin when I knew it was wrong? Distance between me and my Savior, Jesus Christ.
I asked him to be careful about his answer and realized that I cannot know answer the question for myself. LORD God have mercy.
Wow, the power of sin. There is a NO that still floats in my mind, feelings and thoughts. This NO demands that there be no GOD to worship, to give totally allegiance to any person outside of myself. The grace of GRACE. Sometimes I can't say YES but I know HE is worthy. The best that I can do is still myself before HIM and ask for grace to say YES. Not just OK or go ahead but YES!
It amazes me, grieves me that after all I have seen of God's work and hand in my life and others, I still doubt, I still say NO. I am in as much need of GRACE today as I was thirty years ago. Then I could blame it on being a fooling youth, now? Wretched, miserable, poor, blind, naked. Yes and totally loved.
My weakness does not smell, my sin does but not my weakness but I despise it the same. My weakness reminds me of the birth of my children - they were delightfully wretched and miserably dependent upon their mother and me and we loved it. They were also poor, blind and naked. Is my NO from my weakness or sin? The GRACE of YES is powerful, wonderful and very fulfilling. I recognize that I am not fully saved - will be when He appears. My heart is saved by which I long for the eternal YES breathed into my soul and body.
Why did I sin when I knew it was wrong? Distance between me and my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Hello? Is anyone there?
Please let me know you are enjoying these. If enough people enjoy these I will post more often. If not, I will continue to post when the BLUE MOON WIND BLOWS THROUGH MY DOOR.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Essence of a Relationship - GRACE
The second pillar of healthy relationships is GRACE. Grace means unlimited and unconditional access to my heart in spite of you lying. This means keeping the path way open to your heart even when the other person has betrayed a sacred trust of your heart. When two hearts commune there is a bond that is built. It begins in love and grows into trust, commitment and covenant. Grace is what maintains this relationship. We grow by hurting the other person and their values become ours or we disrespect the person's heart and the relationship dies.
Sex is so very powerful and dangerous. Sex focuses the mind on the body and its appetites and not the heart. Sex dilutes the communion and forces the couple to later rebuild what was damaged in the mating process. When a couple longs for a spiritual foundation for their relationship they guard against the damage that sex can bring to the relationship. Sex is awesome when applied at the right time. It is the oil of joy for a healthy marriage but the acid of pain for two selfish people who don't trust or know God.
Sex is so very powerful and dangerous. Sex focuses the mind on the body and its appetites and not the heart. Sex dilutes the communion and forces the couple to later rebuild what was damaged in the mating process. When a couple longs for a spiritual foundation for their relationship they guard against the damage that sex can bring to the relationship. Sex is awesome when applied at the right time. It is the oil of joy for a healthy marriage but the acid of pain for two selfish people who don't trust or know God.
The Essence of a Relationship - TRUTH
A relationship is built upon five pillars.
The first pillar is TRUTH. For a relationship to work and abide there must be a healthy respect in each person's life for the truth. For the heart to draw together toward another heart there must be a communion of truth. Most relationships have special areas of truth that are shared. While the friendship may exclude other truths the relationship must be built upon an understanding and communciation of certain truths that are expected to be protected and maintained.
The essence of truth between two hearts is very simple - unlimited and unconditional access to the heart. This means you let the person inside you without barriers. This means the mind is not allowed to edit the person as they approach the heart, this means the emotions are not allowed to rule as they prophesy this person's failure with your heart. You let them in. And they see you for who you really are. They are able to distinguish your heart from your mind and feelings. They know your heart. In some ways, they know you better than you know yourself.
The first pillar is TRUTH. For a relationship to work and abide there must be a healthy respect in each person's life for the truth. For the heart to draw together toward another heart there must be a communion of truth. Most relationships have special areas of truth that are shared. While the friendship may exclude other truths the relationship must be built upon an understanding and communciation of certain truths that are expected to be protected and maintained.
The essence of truth between two hearts is very simple - unlimited and unconditional access to the heart. This means you let the person inside you without barriers. This means the mind is not allowed to edit the person as they approach the heart, this means the emotions are not allowed to rule as they prophesy this person's failure with your heart. You let them in. And they see you for who you really are. They are able to distinguish your heart from your mind and feelings. They know your heart. In some ways, they know you better than you know yourself.
My Father
Happy Birthday to me. I had written out a lot of things that I wanted as I entered my fifities and one thing that came short stood out - I wanted a ranch. Cattle, a pond, a windmill and some horses. As I was spending time with God yesterday, on my birthday, I noticed that God was very careful with the desires of my heart and neglectful with the desires of my mind and understanding. He is a good father to me. Thank You, God, my Father! You are so good to me. Thank You for watching over the desires of my heart.
10,000 hours
Just finished a great book. Outliers by Malcolm Gladstone. He documents the power of practice.
What is the one thing you have been practicing for the last eight years for more than twenty hours per week? You tell me what that thing is and I will tell you what you are very good at.
Several young men that I have helped have spent the last eight years lusting for women. Yuck! And that is all they know now. Through high school, through college and now they long to be celebrate with their wives yet the power of practice overwhelms them. Imagine if they had dedicated themselves to prayer or to study of the Bible?
Ladies usually have celebrated fear or anger over the last eight years and they are very good at it. In fact, they are so good at it they do not know they are even doing it when they do it. It has become second nature to them. OUCH! Their children know they do it. Their spouse knows they do it. Imagine a young lady choosing faith over fear for the next eight years. WOW! She will become a master of faith.
Imagine a young person learning to control their tongue and open their ears to the heart of God. Imagine them shutting off the TV, radio and other entertainment modes so that they can listen to the heart of God. Imagine this person eight years later! An expert on the heart of God. WOW!
Become that person who for the next eight years does one thing - focus on the heart of God.
What is the one thing you have been practicing for the last eight years for more than twenty hours per week? You tell me what that thing is and I will tell you what you are very good at.
Several young men that I have helped have spent the last eight years lusting for women. Yuck! And that is all they know now. Through high school, through college and now they long to be celebrate with their wives yet the power of practice overwhelms them. Imagine if they had dedicated themselves to prayer or to study of the Bible?
Ladies usually have celebrated fear or anger over the last eight years and they are very good at it. In fact, they are so good at it they do not know they are even doing it when they do it. It has become second nature to them. OUCH! Their children know they do it. Their spouse knows they do it. Imagine a young lady choosing faith over fear for the next eight years. WOW! She will become a master of faith.
Imagine a young person learning to control their tongue and open their ears to the heart of God. Imagine them shutting off the TV, radio and other entertainment modes so that they can listen to the heart of God. Imagine this person eight years later! An expert on the heart of God. WOW!
Become that person who for the next eight years does one thing - focus on the heart of God.
Fear and Feelings
Fear and feelings lurk about seeking someone to devour. Sound familiar? Satan's quickest and most effective path into a Christian soul is through the pathway of the feelings and nurtured fears. The soul secretly nourishes a relationship with fears and the feelings let the fears leak into our mind and emotions, seeking to dominate us.
Fear tells men they are inadequate and causes us to hide, hesitate and generally not show up when we are needed. Most of fatherhood and being a husband is about being there when you are needed. Most of the resources that our wives and children need are brought simply by our presence. In spiritual counseling the secret is quite simple - God shows up. He manifests His presence and people are changed. Fear and feelings are instantly subjected to His presence if the person is a practicing Christian, i.e. worshipping.
Fear tells women that they are not enough. Fear tells women that there is another woman coming who will be enough. I have never seen fear ever help a woman be ready for her husband's failure or recover. I have seen fear prophesy a husband's failure for years and then turn around and say, "I told you so" for years later.
I have also seen faith prophesy a husband's success. I have seen God use a wife's faith and love to restore a husband prophetically before he fell and after he fell. And I have seen her faith protect her beauty all the way through the process. Fear or Faith. Which one talks to you?
Fear tells men they are inadequate and causes us to hide, hesitate and generally not show up when we are needed. Most of fatherhood and being a husband is about being there when you are needed. Most of the resources that our wives and children need are brought simply by our presence. In spiritual counseling the secret is quite simple - God shows up. He manifests His presence and people are changed. Fear and feelings are instantly subjected to His presence if the person is a practicing Christian, i.e. worshipping.
Fear tells women that they are not enough. Fear tells women that there is another woman coming who will be enough. I have never seen fear ever help a woman be ready for her husband's failure or recover. I have seen fear prophesy a husband's failure for years and then turn around and say, "I told you so" for years later.
I have also seen faith prophesy a husband's success. I have seen God use a wife's faith and love to restore a husband prophetically before he fell and after he fell. And I have seen her faith protect her beauty all the way through the process. Fear or Faith. Which one talks to you?
Are you desperate?
When parents bring a youth into my office one of the questions they long to have answered is What is going on with my child's sexual development? One of the key questions the Holy Spirit leads me to ask again and again is are they desperate to be awakened or are they eager? There is a healthy aspect to a child who longs to have their sexual identity awakened, verified and celebrated. However, if there is present pain in the child's life and/or the absence of a present, involved and engaged father then the child has a tendency to become desperate about their sexuality.
This aspect of DESPERATE and EAGER applies to a lot of areas of life. Are you eager or desperate to please your spouse? Are you desperate or eager to please your boss, your children, your parents? Desperate means dysfunctional. Desperate means that you need something from that relationship and those who are desperate sometimes find themselves to be thieves. Soul thieves.
Sometime a wife gets desperate for her husband's affection so she tries to train him. Sex him when he does what is right and starve him when he fails. Men train well most of the time. Yet then the maintenance of a man falls upon the wife and that gets old real quick. Learn the prayer path to his Father in Heaven. If God watches over the number of hairs upon your head, He is also watching over all your needs.
What are you desperate for? What is the one thing you are desperate for? God's presence? The Second Coming of the LORD? Your next paycheck? Quiet time in the mornings are a place to still the soul so that our hunger for the day is for one thing - His presence present in our lives.
This aspect of DESPERATE and EAGER applies to a lot of areas of life. Are you eager or desperate to please your spouse? Are you desperate or eager to please your boss, your children, your parents? Desperate means dysfunctional. Desperate means that you need something from that relationship and those who are desperate sometimes find themselves to be thieves. Soul thieves.
Sometime a wife gets desperate for her husband's affection so she tries to train him. Sex him when he does what is right and starve him when he fails. Men train well most of the time. Yet then the maintenance of a man falls upon the wife and that gets old real quick. Learn the prayer path to his Father in Heaven. If God watches over the number of hairs upon your head, He is also watching over all your needs.
What are you desperate for? What is the one thing you are desperate for? God's presence? The Second Coming of the LORD? Your next paycheck? Quiet time in the mornings are a place to still the soul so that our hunger for the day is for one thing - His presence present in our lives.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
The Joy of a Woman and the Joy of a Man
The Essence of a Man is that he lives for meaning. He wants to know that what he is doing makes a difference. A woman is not the same. She lives for Hope. She wants to know that her tomorrow is different than her today. That is why they endure pregnancy better than men. That is why adultery hurts them but they are better able to forgive because hope is everything to them. When a husband fails his wife, her hope is destroyed. When he owns the wound, learning about who a woman really is and his soul DNA is changed through the process she grows in hope. When a woman cheats on a man, his wound is related to the fact that his love did not count for anything.
Husbands - watch over your wife's hope. When are you taking her to that weekend get away? Plan it, let her know about it and then do it.
Wives - watch over your husband's sense of meaning and purpose related to what he provides and does for you and the kids. Celebrate his faithfulness to you, to provide, to nurture the children and to grow himself. Tell him that his love for you as great meaning in your life. Tell him that his going to work day after day has great meaning to you. Over-emphasize your words but do not lie. In speech class they teach you to speak with intensity and to over-emphasize your constants to get your point across. It works well here.
Husbands - watch over your wife's hope. When are you taking her to that weekend get away? Plan it, let her know about it and then do it.
Wives - watch over your husband's sense of meaning and purpose related to what he provides and does for you and the kids. Celebrate his faithfulness to you, to provide, to nurture the children and to grow himself. Tell him that his love for you as great meaning in your life. Tell him that his going to work day after day has great meaning to you. Over-emphasize your words but do not lie. In speech class they teach you to speak with intensity and to over-emphasize your constants to get your point across. It works well here.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Getting Rid of Contempt
Respect is the opposite of contempt. I have learned to give the person their God-given dignity and the respect that comes with that dignity even if they do not respect themselves. The movie The Green Mile is an example of that. There are so many in the Christian community and the world who do not respect sinners as a person. Hate and contempt consume a soul every time and destroys every relationship that they have.
Chose to speak the respect. You will not feel nor want even to simply say it, but you must! It relieves a huge burden and releases the responsibility of the response to God Almighty and He will repay with interest if the person refuses to repent.
I look for contempt when I am counseling a couple. When I see it, I know the relationship is doomed. Like finding an aggressive cancer on the liver, if there is not radical surgery and just as aggressive removal of the cancer, the cancer will consume the body. Same with contempt and the soul. If there is not radical removal of the contempt then the contempt will spread in the soul and consume the soul.
Do not trust your emotions nor even your mind in this spiritual matter. You know what your Lord expects of you. Obey Him and confess your respect of the person's dignity. It will keep you out of some dark places. May God grant you the grace of His presence as you follow Him through this valley.
Chose to speak the respect. You will not feel nor want even to simply say it, but you must! It relieves a huge burden and releases the responsibility of the response to God Almighty and He will repay with interest if the person refuses to repent.
I look for contempt when I am counseling a couple. When I see it, I know the relationship is doomed. Like finding an aggressive cancer on the liver, if there is not radical surgery and just as aggressive removal of the cancer, the cancer will consume the body. Same with contempt and the soul. If there is not radical removal of the contempt then the contempt will spread in the soul and consume the soul.
Do not trust your emotions nor even your mind in this spiritual matter. You know what your Lord expects of you. Obey Him and confess your respect of the person's dignity. It will keep you out of some dark places. May God grant you the grace of His presence as you follow Him through this valley.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Contempt
I am learning how much God despises CONTEMPT. Jesus warned His disciples that to think or speak of someone with contempt made you guilty enough to go to hell. See Matthew 5-7.
Contempt is to the soul what cancer is to the body - it spreads. I have noticed if the person has contempt for one person in their life, even if it is themselves, the contempt will spread through the whole of their life. UGLY. and they will not know it.
I heard of a seminary professor who verbally attacked two homosexual men who lived next to him. He expressed his contempt and not love toward them. He is right to have contempt for their lifestyle but not to allow the contempt to roll over onto the person.
A friend allowed some very ugly things about me to be said a while back and it is hard to not have contempt for him. I have learned how to pray for him, lifting him up before the LORD God Almighty and just being still before God without mentioning anything about him. Just like holding a child up before the LORD, quiet and listening. Most of the time the LORD does not say anything. This last time, after lifting up this person, the LORD asked me to lift up my pain and hurt to Him. I was surprised how deep the pain was. It was relieving, to some degree, to let go. While it is frustrating to be still healing from a wound that is over three years old, I recognize that deep wounds take a long time to heal. Keep out of the ditches. Make sure contempt never rolls over onto the person.
Contempt is to the soul what cancer is to the body - it spreads. I have noticed if the person has contempt for one person in their life, even if it is themselves, the contempt will spread through the whole of their life. UGLY. and they will not know it.
I heard of a seminary professor who verbally attacked two homosexual men who lived next to him. He expressed his contempt and not love toward them. He is right to have contempt for their lifestyle but not to allow the contempt to roll over onto the person.
A friend allowed some very ugly things about me to be said a while back and it is hard to not have contempt for him. I have learned how to pray for him, lifting him up before the LORD God Almighty and just being still before God without mentioning anything about him. Just like holding a child up before the LORD, quiet and listening. Most of the time the LORD does not say anything. This last time, after lifting up this person, the LORD asked me to lift up my pain and hurt to Him. I was surprised how deep the pain was. It was relieving, to some degree, to let go. While it is frustrating to be still healing from a wound that is over three years old, I recognize that deep wounds take a long time to heal. Keep out of the ditches. Make sure contempt never rolls over onto the person.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Fear
Andrew just called from Colorado. He has returned back to the place of the accident, where he lost control of a hang-glider type of kite and fell 20 feet and then was dragged 30 yards or so. He shattered his inner ankle bone into at least 7 pieces.
He mentioned the thrill of the air lifting the harness, the kite with him in it. The thrill lasted for about 8 seconds and then there was several seconds of terror as a gust of wind lifted him up and carried him away. The sense of loss of control. The danger and the power of the indiscriminate wind. A friend that became an instant enemy, seemingly desperately intent upon causing great pain and damage. Immortal becomes mortal. A teenager believing he is immortal smacks into reality at about 30 mph and shatters his ankle bone and a false sense of godness.
May I speak as a father? Looking into my son's eyes and seeing that pain did not bring me the sense of joy that I thought it would. This is a rite of passage. From childish thinking to adult thinking. Yet it brought me no joy.
There is a profound sense of sadness. It is as if the earth failed my child. Perhaps the Tree of Life, the leaves, would have been used in this situation to heal. He is awakened to his mortality but so am I, again. Trusting what I can not see with my eyes but I know in my heart.
He mentioned the thrill of the air lifting the harness, the kite with him in it. The thrill lasted for about 8 seconds and then there was several seconds of terror as a gust of wind lifted him up and carried him away. The sense of loss of control. The danger and the power of the indiscriminate wind. A friend that became an instant enemy, seemingly desperately intent upon causing great pain and damage. Immortal becomes mortal. A teenager believing he is immortal smacks into reality at about 30 mph and shatters his ankle bone and a false sense of godness.
May I speak as a father? Looking into my son's eyes and seeing that pain did not bring me the sense of joy that I thought it would. This is a rite of passage. From childish thinking to adult thinking. Yet it brought me no joy.
There is a profound sense of sadness. It is as if the earth failed my child. Perhaps the Tree of Life, the leaves, would have been used in this situation to heal. He is awakened to his mortality but so am I, again. Trusting what I can not see with my eyes but I know in my heart.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Respect: The Yoke
I love doing weddings. I have never had a bride pass out at the altar but I have had at least two grooms and a best man fall like tall timber. Funniest thing you ever saw. None of them were hurt other than ego. But the YOKE of God fell on them and they fell down.
I have married about 70 or so couples. Every time and I mean every time the YOKE of God falls onto the groom right before the ceremony. They have a hard time breathing, it is like they want to run but they don't. They are becoming aware in their heart of hearts that God is placing upon them an accountablity for the bride, her children to come.
The yoke bears down on the husband, the father. It is a weight he carries every day. While the woman is always a mother to her children this yoke is different.
There are three keys words to the YOKE
1. Provision. The father, the husband is responsible for providing for his own. He is to look into the future and insure that all the needs of his family are taken care of. He is to keep his eyes to their provision no matter what it takes.
2. Protection. The yoke of God demands that the husband and father protect his family. Most of the attacks that are threatened against his children and wife are at the hands of other men. He knows men better than they and must pro-actively chose a defense which keeps the battle outside of the home.
3. Direction. Life is a series of choices. The wise father and husband does not demand the right to determine each and every one but he does take the responsibility for them all. He has to learn how to lead his spouse and each child. The father is the primary adult responsible to lead his children to God.
Every day the man awakens and longs for the respect that the Yoke of God around his neck and life demands. While no man is able to live up to the fullest expectations of the Yoke most of us try. Gracious respect granted by faith in the God that stands behind us encourages us in the right direction.
I have married about 70 or so couples. Every time and I mean every time the YOKE of God falls onto the groom right before the ceremony. They have a hard time breathing, it is like they want to run but they don't. They are becoming aware in their heart of hearts that God is placing upon them an accountablity for the bride, her children to come.
The yoke bears down on the husband, the father. It is a weight he carries every day. While the woman is always a mother to her children this yoke is different.
There are three keys words to the YOKE
1. Provision. The father, the husband is responsible for providing for his own. He is to look into the future and insure that all the needs of his family are taken care of. He is to keep his eyes to their provision no matter what it takes.
2. Protection. The yoke of God demands that the husband and father protect his family. Most of the attacks that are threatened against his children and wife are at the hands of other men. He knows men better than they and must pro-actively chose a defense which keeps the battle outside of the home.
3. Direction. Life is a series of choices. The wise father and husband does not demand the right to determine each and every one but he does take the responsibility for them all. He has to learn how to lead his spouse and each child. The father is the primary adult responsible to lead his children to God.
Every day the man awakens and longs for the respect that the Yoke of God around his neck and life demands. While no man is able to live up to the fullest expectations of the Yoke most of us try. Gracious respect granted by faith in the God that stands behind us encourages us in the right direction.
The Ache of a Man's Heart
The ache of every man's heart centers around a desire for Respect.
However, very, very, very few woman understand what the word means. Gabi and I were watching Mr. Holland's Opus and we both commented on the movie. Gabi hates the scene where the pretty high school girl moves in on the old man. I love the scene because the old man proves his metal and stays true to his heart, his wife and family. He gives up a hope to fulfill his call to write music to stay true to his primary call - to his wife and family. YEAH! And then when he comes home and kisses his wife, he says, "I love you". She replies, "I know." Wow!!! That is respect driven by faith, hopefully in God first and then in her husband.
Men long for respect from each other, from their spouses and their children. Most live without it. Yet push on any way. There are three heart ache aspects to the word respect.
1. To be respected for the YOKE.
2. To be respected for the DRIVE.
3. To be respected for the CALL.
Ladies, ask God for grace to understand HIS design He placed in your husbands and sons and father concerning respect. In the same way, we don't understand naturally what it means to cherish you, we have to learn it - you too must learn what it means to respect a man.
However, very, very, very few woman understand what the word means. Gabi and I were watching Mr. Holland's Opus and we both commented on the movie. Gabi hates the scene where the pretty high school girl moves in on the old man. I love the scene because the old man proves his metal and stays true to his heart, his wife and family. He gives up a hope to fulfill his call to write music to stay true to his primary call - to his wife and family. YEAH! And then when he comes home and kisses his wife, he says, "I love you". She replies, "I know." Wow!!! That is respect driven by faith, hopefully in God first and then in her husband.
Men long for respect from each other, from their spouses and their children. Most live without it. Yet push on any way. There are three heart ache aspects to the word respect.
1. To be respected for the YOKE.
2. To be respected for the DRIVE.
3. To be respected for the CALL.
Ladies, ask God for grace to understand HIS design He placed in your husbands and sons and father concerning respect. In the same way, we don't understand naturally what it means to cherish you, we have to learn it - you too must learn what it means to respect a man.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Flame that Burns within.
The pathos of God is caught directly from the heart of God to our hearts. Our hearts change from a deep, rich red to a wonderful dark orange- we are alive.
The flame consumes the wood, hay and stubble of our lives. The worthless stuff that we live for sometimes is consumed by the pathos of God burning in our heart. The gold and precious metals are purified and that which is built of wood, hay and stubble are destroyed.
The flame reveals. The fire burns away and the fire also brings a painful, intense light to our lives.
The flame also stirs up within us an awe. While most of us are terrified of being consumed by passion, either negative or positive, we love to see someone who is passionate about what they do even if we may not agree with what they do.
The Flame that burns within. Woe to the person who has let the world, worry and/or pleasure extinguish their flame. Blessed is the person who through perserverance has kept their flame alive, by the grace of God.
The flame consumes the wood, hay and stubble of our lives. The worthless stuff that we live for sometimes is consumed by the pathos of God burning in our heart. The gold and precious metals are purified and that which is built of wood, hay and stubble are destroyed.
The flame reveals. The fire burns away and the fire also brings a painful, intense light to our lives.
The flame also stirs up within us an awe. While most of us are terrified of being consumed by passion, either negative or positive, we love to see someone who is passionate about what they do even if we may not agree with what they do.
The Flame that burns within. Woe to the person who has let the world, worry and/or pleasure extinguish their flame. Blessed is the person who through perserverance has kept their flame alive, by the grace of God.
The Pathos of God
There are three key elements to the Pathos of God
1. The Flame that burns within.
2. The Unseeable Presence of God within the Pathos.
3. The Unthinkable Expectation of God within the Pathos.
1. The Flame that burns within.
2. The Unseeable Presence of God within the Pathos.
3. The Unthinkable Expectation of God within the Pathos.
the Pathos of Theos (The Passion of God)
The Pathos of God
Every human being has entrusted into their care an unusual part of the passion of God. While our circumstances bring out that passion with detail, it was given to us when we were created by God Himself. You might say God took a pinch of His heart and gave it to you. Unique, special and just for you.
There are several pathos of God that we carry in life. A very close friend of mine just lost his mother. To be a mother is a pathos of God that is very near and dear to His heart and this special mother fulfilled that pathos in a special way. She even poured some of her mother pathos into my life.
Our pathos of God is a part of our spiritual DNA, what moves us, what brings meaning to our life. I will take the next few blogs to unpack this wonderful truth about how God makes our PATHOS for life.
Every human being has entrusted into their care an unusual part of the passion of God. While our circumstances bring out that passion with detail, it was given to us when we were created by God Himself. You might say God took a pinch of His heart and gave it to you. Unique, special and just for you.
There are several pathos of God that we carry in life. A very close friend of mine just lost his mother. To be a mother is a pathos of God that is very near and dear to His heart and this special mother fulfilled that pathos in a special way. She even poured some of her mother pathos into my life.
Our pathos of God is a part of our spiritual DNA, what moves us, what brings meaning to our life. I will take the next few blogs to unpack this wonderful truth about how God makes our PATHOS for life.
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