I am learning how much God despises CONTEMPT. Jesus warned His disciples that to think or speak of someone with contempt made you guilty enough to go to hell. See Matthew 5-7.
Contempt is to the soul what cancer is to the body - it spreads. I have noticed if the person has contempt for one person in their life, even if it is themselves, the contempt will spread through the whole of their life. UGLY. and they will not know it.
I heard of a seminary professor who verbally attacked two homosexual men who lived next to him. He expressed his contempt and not love toward them. He is right to have contempt for their lifestyle but not to allow the contempt to roll over onto the person.
A friend allowed some very ugly things about me to be said a while back and it is hard to not have contempt for him. I have learned how to pray for him, lifting him up before the LORD God Almighty and just being still before God without mentioning anything about him. Just like holding a child up before the LORD, quiet and listening. Most of the time the LORD does not say anything. This last time, after lifting up this person, the LORD asked me to lift up my pain and hurt to Him. I was surprised how deep the pain was. It was relieving, to some degree, to let go. While it is frustrating to be still healing from a wound that is over three years old, I recognize that deep wounds take a long time to heal. Keep out of the ditches. Make sure contempt never rolls over onto the person.