Saturday, December 5, 2009


At a Bible study, one of the students noted that God will take care of those who practice sin, eventually. Then he said it again, eventually.

God will, eventually. He always does. He will punish the wicked. He will show forth your righteousness, eventually. He will restore you, eventually.

God delights to use time to mature us and to formalize His heart in us. The aches of God, the grief of God, authored by His Spirit and our spirit lead us to His purpose and plan for our life. God is good all the time, eventually. He is good in heaven and good always comes to the earth, eventually. Satan may have the right to play the first card but God always reserves the right to place the last card upon the table. Movies that delight in endings that are chaotic and do not reserve the right for the unseen God to play the right card celebrate the devil's view of the end of the world. Please do not let your little children feast upon these lies while they are impressionable and temper your teens to these lies that are pumped out of Hollywood.

The Danger of Sorrow

Beware of the second grief cycle called sorrow. If you delight in the sorrow and stay there you will become addicted to a coping mechanism that stops you from maturing onto grief and then joy.

Because sorrow of the mind and feelings is so familiar to us, some of us delight to stay in sorrow. Because it is familiar it is more comfortable than that which is unfamiliar which is heart grief and then heart joy. So we secretly soak in our sorrow, stuck in a cycle of grief that goes around and around, again and again.

Sorrow is an action of the mind and emotions. Grief is the breath of the heart and spirit. Grief breathed always leads to joy. Joy always leads to strength. Sorrow embraced and entertained always leads to happiness that leads to sorrow that leads back to happiness that eventually falls into slavery. Break the cycle by moving through sorrow of the mind and emotions to the grief of the heart.


God has wonderfully used several mentors in my life. And I have been a mentor to several people as well. God delights in the beginning of the relationship to use me and my strengths to fill up some voids in their life.

As we both mature God uses my weakness to wean the person from me, to challenge me and mature our relationship into a peer driven relationship. While I do retain some mentor aspects in the person's life, our relationship is matured now through a peer process.

Soon God will begin to "insight" my disciple into my life and I will joyfully chose to submit to that insight. This matures the relationship into its final stage- where the disciple is now mentoring me. My joyful and willful submission to God's revelation in their voice and life finalizes the weaning process and authenticates God's voice and heart in their life. If I did not hang onto the person when God was using my strengths in their life, I will not suffer when God delights to show them my weakness as well.

Heart Look

When you let someone look into your eyes while you are grieving, you share your grief with them and your grief is halved. When you share your joy, heart to heart and eye to eye, you joy is doubled.

When you let someone look you in the eye and you rest - you let them see the real you, the one you can't see nor know without being in relationship. Humans only work in relationship. We die alone.

When you let someone look into your eyes when you laugh the laughter of joy, you invite them into the room that holds your treasures and your future. Most couples do not share this intimacy with each other. Most people are not even aware of the room in their heart where their treasures are stored.

Remember, grief leads to joy and joy leads to strength. Sorrow leads to happiness which leads to slavery to events that generate happiness.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A Sacred Betrayal - The Pain

I once had a friend, a very close friend. I was betrayed by him. Intimate conversations that I had with him ended up public, misconstrued and manipulated by others to mean something he knows I did not mean to say. Wow. The unbelievable pain. Trust totally betrayed.

I know some of you have likewise trusted someone with your heart and they betrayed your trust. Your heart was ripped out of your chest and cast onto the ground, stomped into the dirt and then handed back to you. What do you do?

The pain that you are going through is beyond your grasp. You are not going to be able to grasp how much and how deep you have been hurt. Your task is to release and express the pain that comes to you. Do not swallow it into your being - express it. I know it hurts and is much easier to swallow and forget about it. But you will deal with it at a later time and usually with rage and anger. Find safe people who allow you to breathe spiritually and release the grief that is there.

This will take some time. The heart is in charge not your mind. You can slow the process down but you can't stop it. Be still and let your heart breathe. I trust God with the pain and that He personally is in charge of how much I am facing at this moment. It has taken me a long time to be able to release a lot of the pain. Sometimes it may take years but when it finally comes, let go. To push the pain back down into your soul is exhausting and very, very dangerous. Your mental and emotional energy will be consumed by keeping this grief locked down and you will probably experience depression. The essence of depression is usually long term repression of a spiritual issues of the heart. Release and breathe.

Bleeding for your sons

Mom - please pray for your son. Listen to a mother speak from almost 3000 years ago.

"O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows,
do not spend your strength on women, Proverbs 31:2,3
New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica

Unbled ground is unredeemed ground.

Learn how to pray for your son in such a way that your heart begins to bleed for what women will want to do to him and for the dumbness of his body in wanting to respond; get there before he gets there.

Bled Ground

Abraham Lincoln talks about the sacred ground at Gettysburg. In Remember the Titans the coach reminds them of the battle fought there 100 years ago. Blood spilled makes the ground holy. That is why Christians revere the Cross - Christ' blood there makes that holy ground.

Any relationship that is un-bled is un-redeemed. If you are really going to love someone, open your heart to them - you are going to get hurt. When we chose to forgive for His sake - He uses that opportunity to forgive and redeem that relationship.

Choosing forgiveness for Christ' sake is the means by which God purchases areas in our lives for His glory. When we forgive the Blood of Christ flows through our wounded hearts onto the ground of that relationship or area and Satan and his demons will not walk over a ground where the Blood of the Christ is.

The Ten Commandments

I am teaching the Ten Commandments to a class of ten year old boys in our church. Here is the summary of the lesson from the 10th through the 7th commandment.

When you forget to say thanks, when you forget to be thankful, when you forget all the gifts that you have been given, there creeps into your life a longing for more. What you have is not enough. Therefore You Covet (10th Commandment) You Lie (9th Commandment) You Steal (8th Commandment) You Commit Adultery (7th Commandment).

Gratitude checks the MORE.

Romans 1:21
21For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him,

Psalm 50
23 He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me,

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica


To all my friends that live in Florida.
Please tell the oranges that "Oranges are made to be squeezed."

Imagine the oranges hanging on the tree, excited about being some of the best oranges that have ever been. Yet someone needs to tell them, Oranges are made to be squeezed. The only way to get orange juice from oranges is the oranges have to be squeezed.

I know this is a minor point but God used this in my life the other day. Christians are a lot like oranges - to get that which is within them out, God has to let them be squeezed. Some oranges are very insecure about what is in them, but God is not. He knows the sweetness and beautiful aroma that is trapped within the shell. A little pressure and wonderful, flavorful juice flows out of the person's life to enrich those around them.

Let God squeeze your heart and you will be pleasantly surprised at what comes out! After all, He places the juice within us through His own Holy Spirit.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Hey, let me know you are reading these things by taking the time to interact with the blog. That means a lot to me. Let's just say that encouragement will help me write more consistently. THANKS. That means a lot to me.

Pastor Rod


What do you trust? Name brands? The Government? Your parents? God?

What would I have to do to earn your trust? What would I have to do to lose your trust?

We keep our trust cards very, very close to our chest. Sometimes we keep them so close we do not know who or what we are really trusting.

Trust drives our economy, trust allows marriages to work, families to grow, jobs to be created and maintained. Trust allows doctors to do surgery, banks to lend money, soldiers to risk their lives.

Do we trust God? Do we even want to? How can you trust Someone you have not seen? If someone sent you a letter from overseas and asked you to send all of your money, your spouse and your children to a certain address, would you do it? NO! Say for example, that you had built a relationship with the person over time and you grew to trust them somewhat. Yet you had not seen them. Would you still send the money? NO! Maybe some, but not all. Yet God demands all of everything we have. HE wants to be first. Perhaps we know HIM better than we imagine and we chose to doubt because it is more familiar and comfortable than raw, real faith. Relationships revolve around trust. God knows our hearts trust HIM because HIS Spirit is present in our hearts. It is our minds and feelings that encourages us to doubt. Let us become a faith people who abandons our minds and feelings to the altar of our heart. Let us be as wise as serpents in the ways of the world and the ways of the mind yet let us remain as innocent as doves in relation to our families and friends.


There are times I hate being quiet. I gotta say something. So I spew and end up having to eat my words. When I had cancer in 2007 God gave me a word through a Bible study. Let faith speak first and let faith speak last. I learned to be quiet and listen. If you are loud, you can't hear. I was very, very interested in the FACTS of my situation but God reserved the right to determine the TRUTH of my situation. God decided to let me years roll on,...for now.

Psalm 4:4
Tremble, and do not sin; meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the LORD. New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by
The Lockman Foundation

The way to stay right when its tight is to be quiet in the night.
Sorry. It just came out. But I dare you to memorize it, you are going to need it.

The tree longs to be by the sea but finds itself on the edge of a desert. The word is that the desert is moving toward the tree. Yet he stands still and waits and trusts, keeping his eyes on the skies, not looking for the rain but the God of the rain. He senses in his heart God's delight in his waiting and when the work of faith has had its way in his heart, mind and life, it will begin to rain, again. He smiles at the younger trees who fret at the approaching desert that demands their attention with its all consuming heat and wind. The tree does not mock the power of the desert for there is damage in his trunk and branches. Its power is real and present; yet there is One greater. There, in HIS care, I shall rest, says the tree.


Repentance and Rest are your salvation. Naomi prayed for Ruth that God would grant her rest in her husband's house. God's design is that daughters would go from the rest of their father's house to the rest of their husband's house and die in the rest at their son's house. A father is to win his daughter's heart by knowing her heart better than she does and she gives him her heart before she is awaken as a teenager. Tori once was asked Why don't you have a boyfriend? She responded, Why do I need one? I have Dad. She had given me her heart as a little girl and I have proven more faithful with her heart, knowing her heart than she has. That trust produces a rest.

Has God earned that right for you to give HIM your heart? I know you are a Christian and have already given HIM your heart but HE is desiring to take you to another place, a deeper place. HE wants you to freely give HIM your heart because HE has been more faithful with your dreams, heart aches and desires than you have been.

Repent and give HIM your heart, your understanding. Shut up your mind and rest. Let HIM bring the rain and sunshine to you. The rest of Isaiah says that quietness and trust are your strength. Be still and rest, repent (move away from the fear, the facts and the feelings and move toward God) through being quiet and trust.

When you rest and trust in the midst of a great storm because you are focused on God, you bring HIM great joy. Let your roots sink deep in faith, let your branches rise high in praise and let your leaves spread wide to cover the children below and the seeds of your faith will bless the generations to come. The rains are coming. Rest in HIM.


Wow, do we hate the word Repent. But I am not sure we know what it means. There are two aspects to the word.

1. Repent - turn away FROM something. Stop doing something. Or stop not doing something. There is some behavior, thought or attitude that God desires that we stop immediately.

2. Repent - turn TO something. It is always about turning toward God. Most of us are very, very good about knowing what we are supposed to STOP doing and what we need to START doing. But very few of us are rightly related to what we are supposed to be turning to. It is always God. When I ask you the question, What is God convicting you about? What is your answer?...

If you stated anything about doing, or behavior or actions then you are probably wrong. I want you to think about a child that you love, perhaps your own or a grandchild or niece or nephew. What is the one thing you want them to know, to be convicted about when they think about you? I know the answer - that you love them. That your love for them is a settled issue. God's heart aches for you to be convicted about HIS love for you. The whole of 1 John is about God's love for you, how HIS love changes you and allows you the grace to love others.

Satan is in heaven 24/7/365 without days off, accusing you before the Father. See Revelation 12. He is brutal in his accusation and his facts are correct. But he does not proclaim the TRUTH. While the facts of the sin and sins are true, the BLOOD OF CHRIST covers them and you are forgiven. So many times we are far more familiar with Satan's accusations than we are with the heart of our Father. Listen for HIS love and REPENT! Turn away from those worthless things and turn toward the FATHER who loves you completely. HE will save you and HE will bring you home. Trust HIM.

Repent and Rest

Isaiah 30:15 says that Repentance and Rest are my salvation, Quietness and Trust are my strength.

I have a picture of a tree that Gabi drew next to my desk. The tree waits for God. It is not able to move itself to find water or sunlight but has to trust the God of creation to bring those elements so that it can survive and grow. I wonder if trees fret that God has forgot about them. I wonder if trees doubt God. I wonder if trees try to move from their God-appointed place to get more water or sunlight. I wonder if trees are like me.

Repent and Rest, Rodney. He cares for you.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Purpose of Heart Tears

Tears wash. Jesus washes the church with His words. He washes us individually through His presence in our hearts.

Ephesians 5:25...Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica

Christ purposes that you are going to be radiant, perfectly reflecting the glory of His heart and spirit, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish and holy and blameless.

No guilt, no shame, no stain. Therefore let the heart tears flow, washing and restoring and cleansing.

Third Flow from the Heart

Rubies. Pure rubies. Liquid rubies, if you care. Tears, gold and rubies.

The red ruby stands for the heart of God. When the pressure increases and the pain goes off the chart, the mind begins to scramble for answers. It always fails and then begins to shut down. The heart slowly steps forward and opens its ears to hear. The word is whispered in Eternity and echoes into the Present. God is alive and well. God is caring. God is present in my life and I sense His presence and power though He, for some reason, chooses to not change my circumstances right now.

Rubies reveal and celebrate the aches of God's heart - His pathos. The rubies overflow my heart and educate my soul, my family and friends. God is known, not through cheap words of religious fools who have no heart but broken and quiet saints whose heart worship leaks the presence and power of God Almighty.

Second Heart Flow in Testing

The second issue of the heart when testing produces heart fruit is gold.

Imagine the heart being so tested that pure gold comes forth. Lord Jesus told the Church in Laodicea the in the book of Revelation that they should purchase gold refined in the fire from Him. That is faith. That is trust. That is hope. God delights to purify the faith that is already in us through great pressure and fire. We cannot begin to hope to understand how much JOY this brings our Father when our faith is tested, purified and matured forever. We are quiet, still and completely trusting with our hearts before Him - post testing. Like a weaned child, leaning against his mother's chest, David said.

Psalm 131

A song of ascents. Of David.
1 My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore.

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica

For the rest of my life, certain issues are settled because of the pure gold of faith that resides in my heart. When God delights to spread the wealth of my faith He strikes the fire, turns on His divine timer and begins to fan the flames, increasing the pressure on my heart. I leak, sometimes accidently, and God blesses those whom are within my presence. He delights to manifest His presence in my weakness.

Tears in Testing

First, tears.
The tears will be gentle at first and may burst into a great flow. Depends. If you have a tendency to deny the tears of your heart then you will be a kind of DAM BREAKING type of crier. If you are able to sense the tender tears rising in your soul, authored by your heart and God's heart within you, then you will find your tears more like gentle spring rains rather than like the violent summer storms.
The Tears are gentle whispered prayers co-created by your spirit and God's Holy Spirit within you. Your mind has not been entrusted with these prayers, these are the groans of Romans chapter 8.
As the Tears flow insure that you are releasing the groans that are locked up inside of you as well. Some of these groans are swallowed co-created grief from the past that must be released. Some of the groans are historical, other's are present issues while some are related to future issues. In all, they need to be released and prayed though your mind may not appreciate or be able to even comprehend the details of the prayer. It is not mindless prayer, it is just not authored in the mind.

Testing and Training Time Part One

There is a time in every Christian's life when God uses TIME and PRESSURE and HEAT to purify the soul, cleanse the mind and still the heart. Child of God, trust your Father and learn to be still before Him and let His Spirit do His work in your heart.

As the pressure and heat increases, beyond what you can understand or even hope to cope with - you will discern a strange peace from the center of your being. Not in your mind or even in your feelings and definitely not in your circumstances - but deep from within your heart.

Once the pressure is perfect, the heat - to it's preset setting and the time is right, three wonderful things will begin to flow gently from your heart. You must be very, very still to discern the flow.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Heart Training the Mind

The mind loves to learn and lead however the only reliable source for the truth is the spirit and the Spirit of God. The heart must train the mind. The mind is a powerful computer that discects facts to discern variables, to label and indentify each component and then it puts it back together again to control the outcome - great for factories, horrible for relationships.

12We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. 14The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

12We have not received the heart of the world but the Heart who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Heart of God, expressing spiritual truths in heart words.14The man without the Heart of God does not accept the things that come from the Heart of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are discerned with the heart.

Romans chapter 2, verse 14 and 15 Paul warns us not to trust the mind "...even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.) NOTE: the heart bears the truth, the conscience "also bearing witness" BUT their thoughts, their mind accusing them in one second and excusing them in the next. The mind is not to be trusted. The presence of Christ is to be trusted in the heart.

The journey to learn to discern the heart is very difficult to take and most people chose not to take it. Therefore they live a life dedicated to events that bring happiness and do not experience the JOY that life contains.

Be still today and listen to what your heart is saying. Learn to record in your journals the whispers of your heart. Cultivate friendships with people who discern your heart and hear the whispers. Stay away from those who are dedicated to happiness and deny their own heart.

New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by

Monday, August 31, 2009

Old Wounds

When you are wounded by a gate-keeper at a impressionable age - the wound remains.

Dropping off my oldest son, Andrew, at his college and on the drive back my wife noted that I was looking for regrets. When I did not find any it was like I was disappointed. Someone told me that they would be there, waiting for me. But there was none. There were mistakes and I owned those.

I realized that someone I trusted shot me with an arrow in the back and the poison of the arrow had been poisoning my thinking and feeling for the past forty some years. It took a son to grow up and become a man for me to realize that not only did I raise a man but somewhere along the path I became one.

I am humbled by the great man that my son has become and I tried to pass it off as luck. My beloved Thursday group challenged me powerfully to receive the grace that God had worked in my life. Not only am a great man and raised a great son but am helping other men become men and raise great sons. Wow! I am beginning to believe.

Thank you all for your faith in the God you see in me. Please forgive me for doubting your love and sincerity. I am humbled by the wonderful grace I know enjoy and expect the same God to help me launch the next two as well.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Emotions the same has the Heart?

The heart is not the same as the emotions. Think of a large sponge in the cavern of your soul, absorbing the echoes from the heart as well as from the mind; the good absorbed with the bad. When the emotions are in a situation that reminds it of another situation it breathes out the stored feelings and stimulates the mind and body to prepare for the anticipated response. The heart is pure at its source as it is connected to the heart of Christ. When Christmas comes around your sponge breathes out what it anticipates "Christmas" to be. It is not the truth and sometimes not even a fact but a "justified" feeling from the past. The Holy Spirit of God does not manipulate His believers by using the emotions. He fully uses the heart, that is His primary point of contact with us believers.

Emotions can be programed with a strong mind and repetition. I used to throw newspapers. I hated picking up the newspapers from the warehouse. It was full of smoke from cigarettes and some very rough people. They seemed to growl at me for some reason. Well, one day I got tired of not liking it and decided to use my mind to overwhelm my emotions. I lied to myself by saying "I love to pick up the newspapers." Nothing changed but my attitude. Wow. I am dumber than I thought. I began to look forward to picking up the papers. I started talking to different people and found out they were not as rough as I thought nor were they the ones that were growling. While most of life contains deep and powerful grief that must be experienced, so much of life is based upon our ability for our mind to enslave our feelings and our mind's submission to the heart.

Pastor Rod

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Choking On Joy

I am gifted by God to help people face their grief. I have helped people face grief that was bigger than they are. Yet my challenge is helping people to face the joy that comes when the grief matures. I have lost more people to joy choking than I have to grief.

I believe that JOY is the air of heaven. It is pure and natural to our human state. We long for the lazy and soul numbing state of happiness, yet we are called to prepare for a complete state of JOY.

God has shown me that grief is what prepares us for JOY so I can surmise that our problem with joy choking has to be with not letting grief have its way with us. We edit grief.

Grief is a gift from God, it is His breath in us that reveals to us that what has happened is wrong and out of place in His world. It is a gentle invitation to share His heart, His pain, His love. The tears and groans are whispers from His Spirit in our hearts binding us together. Thus if we embrace the grief and let it have its way with us, we will be ready for the JOY.

Make a focused effort to release the grief in your heart to be expressed, especially with others. Do not edit or touch the grief, learn to express it in safe environments and appropriately.

The same is true of JOY. There are key places where the JOY of our heart is to be released. JOY is the fragrance of our heart that enthralls the LORD to us. It is the beauty of our heart.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Reality Awakening

Thank You, God, for the grief You have allowed in my life. I have not enjoyed the betrayal of a best friend but the grief has produced an awareness of reality that is fresh and healing. Thank You. I can see how You use grief in my life to keep my mind clear and focused on the things that are about Your kingdom. Thank You for destroying false hopes that were not birthed of my faith but rather of my flesh. Like Ishmael, I hoped that You would give them life but You told me that You would not own children that You did not conceive. These false hopes were conceived of my fears, doubts not of my faith or love.

Please keep enough grief in my life to keep me real but not overwhelm me to the point of hopelessness. Help me to share in other's grief so that they do not walk alone.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


I came home from work one day and my daughter was busy in the front yard picking weeds out of the grass. I asked her what she was doing. With great delight she scooped the weeds into a pile and presented them to me. Daddy, would you love me now? I was heart broken over her request.

I took her inside and said, I want you to please sit in my chair every day when you get home from school. Pretend that the chair is my big arms hugging you. I want you to think of how much I love you. She nodded she would and went off to play.

The next day I got home and she was there in my chair. Her tears were evident that my heart got through. Thank you, Daddy, for loving me. Thank you for playing with me, talking with me and going with me to the fair. Thank you for being my Daddy!

You are very welcome. Now go off and play.

The next day was the same. More tears and appreciation for the love now seen. Why did you doubt my love?

Bobby's daddy left him last week and said he was never coming back. Suzy has never seen her daddy. I was scared that I might lose you, too.

I will never leave you or forsake you. You are mine and I am yours.

I thought all was well till the next day. When I got home she was not in the chair. I looked outside and there she was, picking weeds again.

I rushed outside and asked her what was she doing?

Wait a minute, Daddy. She gathered all of the weeds into a pile and then presented them to me. I was in the chair and thinking about your love. I was so overwhelmed with your love, this time I just wanted to say, "Thank you!"

God longs for us to to begin each day and end each day in the chair, resting and receiving His love. If we do anything in service that is not based on our thank you, then we are working toward trying to earn His favor. Rest in His arms.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


God always delights to humble me right before He greatly uses me. On a youth revival weekend with Journey to Dream, I was getting ready to sit at a table filled with young people. As I sat down, the chair gave way and I tumbled to the floor. I was not hurt - on the outside. But inside...ouch. Philip reached out a compassionate hand to help me up. I pushed him away and tried to get up by myself.

Later God convicted that I had hurt Philip when I refused his help. I did not handle the humbling to well. And God delighted to use me a couple of hours later. I bruised Philip's heart when the Christ in him reached out to me. I apologized to him later in front of the kids because he did what he was supposed to do. He reached out in love and sometimes we need help to get through what we are going through.


I remember waking from the surgery. There were two friends standing against the wall. John and Big Ed. Like two strong angels they were there when I wasn't all there. Their presence was powerful. I don't remember a word that they said - did not need to. All I needed to hear was their presence.

I was visited a friend who was dying of cancer. As I walked into the room, he did not lift his head but said, "Pastor Rod, it is good to feel your presence." I sensed that he was spiritually more alive than he had ever been. "You are getting close to the other side?" He smiled and nodded. He was ready. He sighed, enjoying my presence for one last time. The next week he was gone. At least from earth and my earthly sight.

Presence is powerful. St Francis of Assisi is said to have said, "Preach the gospel, use words if you have to." Most of what we do is simply through the power of our presence.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Heart Stealing Disease

There are several viruses that we can catch that can insure that by the time sons and daughters arrive our hearts have been eaten away by Heart-Stealing Disease; officially known at HS disease. Like a pac-man from the old video game, the disease eats away at the heart so that there is no heart left when the child grows into a adult's form. They may be a adult in height but not in heart. Here are a few things that a young person can pick up that will eat away at their heart.
There was a young man who was attached to video games. The games were not the disease; his life attachment to it was the disease. His mind and emotions bonded together and sought life from games. The heart is designed by God to only engage and seek life from God. The mind and emotions bind together in a secret rebellion against the heart to seek a life of its own. The Old Testament called these idols. We keep an idol as a back up just in case God fails. We all have comfort things our minds and emotions bond to find life when we feel that God fails us. For me personally, it has been sweets and God seems to be digging a little deeper and saying it is eating in general. God wants to be our sole comfort. Little children, watch out for idols.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Fresh Manna

God said to me today and I pass it on to you...
Rodney, may I have permission to...
1. Leave My perfect Father and chase you and your heart?
2. To listen, cherish and fulfill the whispers of your heart in such a way that you totally entrust your heart to My heart?
3. To nourish your masculine heart as a man, husband, father and pastor? To awaken you to the greatness that I have authored in you?
4. To give Myself up for you so that I might sanctify you, cleansing you with My tears, My blood and My Word that I might present you before My Father in all My glory and majesty without stain or blemish?

God expects husbands to chase, cherish, nourish and wash their wives. It is a great mystery but it is the picture of Christ pursuing the church. See Ephesians 5.

Muse: Time

I wonder if time is an illusion of the mind. I wonder if time happened when Adam sinned. I wonder how long did Adam live before Eve was created and how long before he sinned.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Broken and Not Fixed

What happens when a primary imprint is supposed to happen when you are a child and you do not receive it? How can you get it back?

Bad News: You don't. You will walk with a limp for the rest of your earth existence. Ouch. You will need a lot of help to develop systems to deal with your weakness. The primary means of making it through is FAITH. God will grant you the grace to faith Him for what you did not get. BUT it will be a slow and challenging experience.

Good News: You don't. You will be dependent upon God for help the rest of your life. You will have to maintain a close relationship with God to insure that the poverty of your situation does not carry over into your children and their spiritual DNA. God delights in your closeness to His heart.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why They Need You to Bleed?

There is a spiritual concept that I am just beginning to understand. Some do not get free from childhood wounds without someone hurting more for them than they hurt as a child. If they were hurt at a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 then you have to hurt at an 11 for them to get free. Sometimes the hurting is from wounds that they have personally caused. Yet when the number is reached I have watched people get set free from wounds that have haunted them their whole life.

It takes great courage to love someone so much that you are willing to let your heart hurt for them in such a way that they are free from their past pain. That is living for and like Jesus.

Friday, March 6, 2009

How God Uses Us to Minister Principle Two

The Second principle of ministry is Presence.
God uses us to bring His presence into people's lives. This is why heart to heart communion with God is so very important. Sin destroys our ability to manifest His presence in other people's lives. Most of the healing that happens in the counseling room is simply when God shows up. The greatest joy I have will be when someone who comes to see me eventually walks across the holy stage in heaven and sees Christ and says about His loving eyes, "I have seen those same eyes in Pastor Rod." Ecclesiastes 5:1,2 says that we need to be quiet when we approach God. We need to draw near to listen rather than offer the sacrifice of fools. When we listen God speaks. Sometimes He speaks in words that only our heart understands. The ministry of presence is powerful and yet discounted by most professional ministers because they do not understand it. Be still, enjoy His presence in your life and you will naturally overflow His presence into the lives of others.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How God uses us to Minister: Principle One

God delights to use our hearts. There are four basic principles that God uses to guide us.
Principle One: Permission
God is a perfect gentleman. He waits until we give permission with our hearts for Him to do His work in our life. We, too, when helping others must recognize the importance of heart permission. So many times, more than I can count, I failed to get heart permission with someone I was trying to help and later found out that the person was not paying attention because their heart was not involved in the process.
Does God have permission to do whatever is necessary to prepare you for His coming Kingdom? God trusts His truth to your heart and He longs for full access to all of you. When He has your heart, He has you.
Wait for permission to minister to someone. They will let you know by a verbal or perhaps a nod of the head. You will become skilled in this area to be able to discern whether or not they are giving you and God permission to speak and minister to them.

Friday, February 27, 2009

How God Fixes a Man Part One

1. The man is brought to a desperate situation in his life and he can't get out.
2. The man's devices are broken. His devices are things that he has used to intoxicate his pain of not having a father nor a father/masculine imprint upon his heart.
3. There is a demand for masculinity in his life. This could be a wonderful wife, awesome children, great friends.

When these three are present God is ready for His master work: restoring a man.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

What is Wrong with Men? Part One

Every boy has a key developmental time in his life - when he is between the ages of 7 to 11. For most boys they look for a father figure to awaken them into a man's world. The heart begins to ache for this as the mother finishes her primary touch on the young man's life. If there is no man to step foward and engage the young man, he will have a tendency to doubt his masculinity for the rest of his life. Most young men will find that sexuality works as a replacement for masculinity. Thus most men live their life not knowing the difference between their unseen, uncelebrated masculinity and their sexuality.

Thus we have a generation of boys who know how to have sex but do not know what it means to be a man; so we try to live according to what women's version of manhood is - and this does not satisfy the man. Our call is from God, our masculinity is from God. He defines who we are.

May God raise up a generation of men to reach the lost generation of boys.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Nothing is more anti-heart than FEAR. Fear causes us to not breathe with our hearts but revert to letting our mind and emotions control us. I have seen many a marriage ruined because one mate was more committed to their fears rather than to God or their mate. I have an extra chair in my office that I sometimes place next to a HeartTalk student. Their spouse sits in a chair across from them. The smaller chair sits next to them while their spouse is about three or four feet away. I comment that they are going to hold to the one (usually fear) and despise the other. They do not mean or think that they are despising their spouse but they are. Fear laughs and mocks our heart and our heart's desire. To live without fear means being committed to the way of the Heart without any editing allowed. It means being committed to letting the Spirit of God and the breath of God flow through us. It means being and staying connected to God through His Spirit and the hearts of those who follow Him with all their hearts.

The Heart Breathes

The heart breathes grief and joy in the same breath. To hold our breath spiritually means we cease to be. Our mind takes over and we function but we do not live. We live by happiness or saddness but we do not know life. We see others enjoying life but we do not recognize it or know its source. For most of us, we hate grief. Yet it is our introduction into the air of heaven - joy. Only a heart that has known and experience and expressed grief can truly embrace joy. People joy choke because they have not been prepared by the grief of life and living. If you love with your heart, you are going to know grief.

Breathe. Love. Live. Grieve and you will know joy.

God promises to those who grieve great joy that overwhelmes and overtakes the grief. Psalm 126.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Aches and Dreams - Planted Seeds Awaiting

There are desires deep within your heart that you are probably not aware of. Sometimes God has to orchestrate events to stir up those desires so that they come to the surface. God told Adam it was not good that he was alone. God planted and then fulfilled the desire of Adam's heart. Adam was asked to name the animals and look for one who corresponded to him. One was not found. Adam looked again and again. Finally a design for one was discovered. God had used the long process of naming the animals and looking for a mate to paint of picture of what she would look like. I believe God waited until the design ache of Adam's heart matched the design and purpose God had for them together. Hannah wrestled with God while He was drawing Samuel on her heart. What is God drawing on your heart? What lack aches your heart? What seeds has God planted and is now seeking to awaken in your life? Keep your eyes on Him and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37. Trust Him and open your heart to His work.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Tears - Sacred Prayers from our Heart

Large tears are whispers from our soul and heart. There are times where our minds fail us in expressing what we are going through. Romans 8 tells us that the Spirit of God moves in our hearts to express groans, sacred and holy groans to the Father. We all have had situations where these groans have been released. God is not entrusting these groans to our minds but rather to His own Holy Spirit to take them to the Father. Sometimes we don't know what to pray or how to pray. We are overwhelmed with what is before. However, our heart is still in communion with God and we both groan -longing for redemption, freedom from the corruption.

Some of us swallow our groans and tears. These go down into the bowels of our soul and ferment until they become bitterness and eventually rage. Now we are using our energy to supress these fermenting groans deep down in our soul. The rage overwhelms us and we occassionaly explode on those around us or perhaps in road rage type of episodes. Most know us has nice people - true except for the hidden rage. We need to release those groans at the right time. These groans are gifts from God in dealing with the pain of life. We need safe places where we can release those sacred tears and groans and we need to release them in a timely manner.

Do you swallow your Tears?

We are Most Like God

It is in our heart, our spirit, that we are most like God. When we are possessed by God through the presence of the Holy Spirit in our heart and we become a new creation - that new creation is our heart. When we chose to abide in His presence in our heart we abide in Him. When we learn to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit in our heart we learn to walk and talk with Him. The voice of the Heart is gentle, firm and kind. It is important to learn how to listen to His voice in your heart. Your mind is a wild computer looking for information to compute, to disect so that it can control the outcome. The Heart longs to love, longs for love to be received and returned - all for the sake of the receiver. God communes directly with our hearts, better yet reflectly. He echoes to our minds through the glory of nature but He communes with our hearts. I love to read the Psalms of the Day - if today is the 9th then Psalm 9 +30, Psalm 39 +30, Psalm 69 etc. Every month you will have read through the Psalms which are powerful heart words. Let your heart walk through the Psalms with your Lord. Listen for what stirs your heart. Stop and meditate on that, commune with your Creator and Savior at that point and let Him speak to you.

Friday, February 6, 2009


Most of us are tired. We carry heart wounds and do not know what to do with them so we suppress them. It takes emotional energy to hold our wounds down. If it is a serious heart wound it may take all of our emotional energy to suppress the pain and grief. It is like we take our wounded heart and put it into a trash can and hide it. We stop being so that we can pretend we are not hurt. Then we operate by our minds. Our relationships are distant but controlled. We are polite but not passionate about anything except about denying what is going on in our heart. We promised ourselves to NEVER feel that pain again, ever, no matter what.

Tired. Exhausted. No end in sight. Yet God longs for communion with us from our heart. Our spouse and children and friends long to know us at a heart level. But we are terrified to open our hearts and let all that which has been suppressed for years - come out. Wretched person that I am, who will set me free?

Throwing Up

I know. No one likes to talk about it. But we all do it. Alone and in private. Yet this concept has helped a lot of people understand what they are going through when it comes to grief and healing so please bear with me.

Throwing up. When someone close to you has used that closeness to hurt you it is like they made you swallow cotton balls soaked in poison. If the abuse lasts for any amount of time it is like they kept forcing you to swallow these cotton balls soaked in poison. Soon you are free from the person with the poison but you still have these cotton balls inside of you. Because the person had influence in your life sometimes it is hard to recognize the cotton balls as poison. The cotton balls resemble words, attitudes, and feelings that you received from the poison person into what you think and feel about your self. That poison has to come out. So you get into a healthy relationship with a person who loves to give you cotton balls of blessing. Now imagine, your belly button is where blessing cotton balls go in. This wonderful person speaks blessing into your life and you receive it. But there is not enough room. The poison cotton balls were taking up all the room. Blessing cotton ball in and a poison cotton ball comes out the mouth. You emotionally throw up. When a person has dated and gotten hurt or even in a marriage then another person comes along and seeks to love that wounded person they get thrown up on. In fact, sometimes the more the person blesses them the more the wounded person throws up on them. If you recognize what is going on it helps speed up the healing process. This is very important. The poisoned person begins recognizing what is going on and appreciating the blessing person. Relationships sometimes fall apart because the couple does not realize what is going on. And sometimes it takes years before someone can throw up something that is deep down within themselves. A person filled with poison breathes poison into other people's lives even though they do not mean to. Another crazy thought: throwing up the poison hurts worse than when you swallowed it!

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Gift of Grief

When a parent does fulfill the Heart Longings that God breathed in us we experience a breath of grief. If we have a safe place to spiritual breathe, we exhale the breath through grieving however is appropriate for our age. However, if we do not have a safe place to express our grief we swallow the grief. Like manna in the Old Testament, it begins to go bad on us. Left for a season it produces anger, then bitterness and then erupts into rage. We have to use a lot of emotional energy to keep the grief down in our souls, locked away. This exahaustion can lead to depression and mental health issues. It is neccesary to release the grief breath. It will hurt just to release the breath almost as much as if it just happened. This is why most of don't want to deal with our past issues. BUT if we don't then our heart is not available for us to love and we live life by our mind and emotions - an extremely exhausting life. God gave the grief as a gift and in expressing the grief He promises that He will exchange the grief for joy. Not happiness but a sense of peace that goes beyond the mind's ability to grasp.

Father Awakens

Now the father ache in the child's heart awakens. For most children this begins about 5 yrs and continues through 11 or 12. The child's heart becomes focused on what the father says about the child. They will take how and what the father says to be how God says and feels about them. This is either a burden or blessing for the rest of their life. The father also awakens the masculintiy in the boys and the femininity in the girls. If the father awakens this heart gift then the child's sexuality will sleep. Andrew, my eldest, asked Tori one time why she did not have a boyfriend. She replied, I have dad, why would I need one? Asleep yet awakened. She asked me what dating was supposed to be all about. I said for her to discern what she likes about a certain boy, confidence, good looks, humor - and then put on that like a shirt or jacket, receive that from that person like a gift. Your man will have some form of that gift. Thus dating is about putting clothes, blessings on and not taking clothes off. The father must see the child. Paul tells Timothy to fight according to the prophesy that has been made concerning him. Fathers, prophesy to your children. See their wonderful, awesome hearts and tell them what you see. Tell them who they are in their heart (forth-telling) and tell them where they are going if they continue to live by the integrity of their heart (fore-telling). Fathers are failing today because their fathers gave them nothing. And now these new fathers are terrified because they have nothing for their children. Pray that these fathers would go to God to get from Him directly what they need for their children.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Mother Joy

The Mother is first one with the privilege of awakening the child to the secret whispers that God has breathed in the child's heart. The mother does not author, she simply awakens the child. I am unique and special, I am accountable to God, I am to love and can expect to be loved. The heart naturally turns toward the mother. The bond of the womb and bosum is strong and creates a nest sensation for the child. A child that is so awakened will have a strong sense of being and place in the world.

If the mother withdrawls from the child - horrible damage is done, even if the withdrawl is in the womb. If the mother withdrawls though she may stay with the child, the child will have a sense of longing that will not be fulfiled later in life. Men and women seek to fill this longing in many ways yet will have to learn to live with this hole in their soul. At the Holy Meeting on the sacred stage of heaven, when we remove our earth suits, those of us with holes - will have them filled with HIM, forever.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What is Heart Talk?

When God created you, He talked to you. This primary imprint is upon your heart. Not your mind or emotions. Then He placed you in your mother's womb. You began as a spiritual being and then He placed you into a physical body to house your heart and spirit. Your heart is who you are. Though your body, your family, your life experiences help influence you - it is your heart that defines the real you. Are you discovering the real you? Do you know who you are? Do you know how to discover the real you? I call this journey to discover who you really are a journey toward learning how to listen to your own HeartTalk. Each person's heart has a voice. Get ready to know your own!


Well, I just finished a writing class. I am convicted. It is time to write. And here we go.