The heart breathes grief and joy in the same breath. To hold our breath spiritually means we cease to be. Our mind takes over and we function but we do not live. We live by happiness or saddness but we do not know life. We see others enjoying life but we do not recognize it or know its source. For most of us, we hate grief. Yet it is our introduction into the air of heaven - joy. Only a heart that has known and experience and expressed grief can truly embrace joy. People joy choke because they have not been prepared by the grief of life and living. If you love with your heart, you are going to know grief.
Breathe. Love. Live. Grieve and you will know joy.
God promises to those who grieve great joy that overwhelmes and overtakes the grief. Psalm 126.