I once had a friend, a very close friend. I was betrayed by him. Intimate conversations that I had with him ended up public, misconstrued and manipulated by others to mean something he knows I did not mean to say. Wow. The unbelievable pain. Trust totally betrayed.
I know some of you have likewise trusted someone with your heart and they betrayed your trust. Your heart was ripped out of your chest and cast onto the ground, stomped into the dirt and then handed back to you. What do you do?
The pain that you are going through is beyond your grasp. You are not going to be able to grasp how much and how deep you have been hurt. Your task is to release and express the pain that comes to you. Do not swallow it into your being - express it. I know it hurts and is much easier to swallow and forget about it. But you will deal with it at a later time and usually with rage and anger. Find safe people who allow you to breathe spiritually and release the grief that is there.
This will take some time. The heart is in charge not your mind. You can slow the process down but you can't stop it. Be still and let your heart breathe. I trust God with the pain and that He personally is in charge of how much I am facing at this moment. It has taken me a long time to be able to release a lot of the pain. Sometimes it may take years but when it finally comes, let go. To push the pain back down into your soul is exhausting and very, very dangerous. Your mental and emotional energy will be consumed by keeping this grief locked down and you will probably experience depression. The essence of depression is usually long term repression of a spiritual issues of the heart. Release and breathe.