My heart hurts.
Again, I was attacked, hacked and sacked by a mean mouthed man and his wife. This time the man joined in the attack. UGH! She was offended at first about the stabbing of the heart sword demostration that I use. Then he picked up her offense. He then began to gather other men to continue the attack. Small stuff and he was not a good friend. But it still hurts.
What hurts more, is the man who was supposed to stand beside me, chose not to. He backed out of the fight.
I have served in the military, front line forces for the Cold War. I have snuck behind the Iron Curtain and faced bold communists who hated my guts to my face. But a brother who names Christ who lies and exagerates what I said; who has apparently no understanding of spiritual realities; tries to regulate how I explain forgiveness and healing and the gospel of Jesus Christ. A lay man attacks a Pastor. OUCH. Round two.
I bleed because I forgive. They are already forgiven. Released to God for Him to deal with... I am done. Yet there is no reconcillation without owning the wounds that they have caused. And I recognize even if they begin to own the wounds they will never fully understand without having been a pastor. I can forgive, easily, sheep who hurt because they are hurt. But wolves, pretending to be sheep...It is good to be quiet now and let God move. My wife's dad has a saying, "God's mill grinds exceedingly slow but exceedingly fine." I have seen it and will see it again.
My heart hurts, my eyes want to cry, my voice wants to moan somehow to match, to relieve the pain of my heart.
I have learned I need to be very careful in explaining HeartTalk and HeartHealing to others. Those with unattended wounds will turn and attack. When they sense the person next to them is getting healed of a wound similiar to theirs, they will scream and shout and doing anything and everything to stop the healing. If the person next to them gets healed, that means there is a chance for them to healed. They are comfortable in their anger and rage, it drives their life, gives them a sense of power. I was sent into their lives to bring life and they chose their anger and rage. Their hatred will consume them. Some turn, most don't.
May God have mercy and deliver them from their foolishness.
May they know a long life of true joy that comes from pulling the sword out of their heart and releasing it to God.
May they know the love of their children from a pure heart and mind and
may God delight to humble us all, again and again until we are perfected through suffering into the image of His Son. Please pray for me to stay humble and to hold my ground.
Martin Luther, the Junior.
aka Pastor Rod