Dear Rod

Dear Rod;

You are a precious son to Me. I love loving you. 

I am going to be rough on you for the next few months. You are going to feel old feelings you knew as a child. You are going to be tempted to think and feel that I am the same as those who hurt you in your childhood. Your heart knows the truth. 

I cannot and will not explain to you now why I am doing these things and allowing these things to happen to you. You will feel lonely and abandoned. In your heart you know the truth but your mind and will and emotions will torment you for a season. 

Do not fake praise Me through this time. I hate fake praise. Learn to be very quiet and let your heart move forward in your chest. Let your tears and your groans speak for you, they will not dishonor My Name. If you move forward your mind to understand or to grasp what you are going through you will dishonor Me with your thoughts and soon your tongue. Be still and wait. Let your heart move forward in your chest. 

Like the heat of summer drives the corn roots deep into the Iowa soil, this season will drive My words deep into your heart. You have learned to trust what you cannot see or understand. Rest in Me. 

I do not delight in your pain. I do delight in you crawling up upon My chest and letting your heart rest on My heart. I do delight in your getting still in your pain to hear My heart beat and whisper your name. I do delight in you hearing My breathing and in every breath hearing of My great love for you. I do delight in your resting upon Me, nothing brings Me greater joy. It grieves me that you have not learned to find your way to My chest, My heart and My breathing but by trouble and pain. You are so easily pleased by the world and its deception and shadows.