If someone hurts you, you choose to forgive with your mind and your will. Even though you do not "feel" it you choose to forgive because your heart is set to obey God.
you cannot and will not move in heart toward the person unless they own the wound that they placed upon your heart. Your heart will not move toward the person unless there is a wound upon their heart from owning yours.
You are still commanded to forgive them and release them from the debt of the wound. However, it is important to understand that you will not be able to reconcile heart to heart with that person unless there is a fellowship of grief and pain shared about that wound. Though the offender will never fully understand how they have hurt you, they will grow into the wound.
A great damage that was done to America was that men and women are the same. We are not. Women are hurt far different than men. What hurts a woman's heart is different than what hurts a man's heart. We are different at the very core of who we are. To learn how to know a woman's or man's heart is the basic skill that married couples must master. And wounds are the quickest way to learn.