Reality Awakening

Thank You, God, for the grief You have allowed in my life. I have not enjoyed the betrayal of a best friend but the grief has produced an awareness of reality that is fresh and healing. Thank You. I can see how You use grief in my life to keep my mind clear and focused on the things that are about Your kingdom. Thank You for destroying false hopes that were not birthed of my faith but rather of my flesh. Like Ishmael, I hoped that You would give them life but You told me that You would not own children that You did not conceive. These false hopes were conceived of my fears, doubts not of my faith or love.

Please keep enough grief in my life to keep me real but not overwhelm me to the point of hopelessness. Help me to share in other's grief so that they do not walk alone.

Rest

I came home from work one day and my daughter was busy in the front yard picking weeds out of the grass. I asked her what she was doing. With great delight she scooped the weeds into a pile and presented them to me. Daddy, would you love me now? I was heart broken over her request.

I took her inside and said, I want you to please sit in my chair every day when you get home from school. Pretend that the chair is my big arms hugging you. I want you to think of how much I love you. She nodded she would and went off to play.

The next day I got home and she was there in my chair. Her tears were evident that my heart got through. Thank you, Daddy, for loving me. Thank you for playing with me, talking with me and going with me to the fair. Thank you for being my Daddy!

You are very welcome. Now go off and play.

The next day was the same. More tears and appreciation for the love now seen. Why did you doubt my love?

Bobby's daddy left him last week and said he was never coming back. Suzy has never seen her daddy. I was scared that I might lose you, too.

I will never leave you or forsake you. You are mine and I am yours.

I thought all was well till the next day. When I got home she was not in the chair. I looked outside and there she was, picking weeds again.

I rushed outside and asked her what was she doing?

Wait a minute, Daddy. She gathered all of the weeds into a pile and then presented them to me. I was in the chair and thinking about your love. I was so overwhelmed with your love, this time I just wanted to say, "Thank you!"

God longs for us to to begin each day and end each day in the chair, resting and receiving His love. If we do anything in service that is not based on our thank you, then we are working toward trying to earn His favor. Rest in His arms.

Humble

God always delights to humble me right before He greatly uses me. On a youth revival weekend with Journey to Dream, I was getting ready to sit at a table filled with young people. As I sat down, the chair gave way and I tumbled to the floor. I was not hurt - on the outside. But inside...ouch. Philip reached out a compassionate hand to help me up. I pushed him away and tried to get up by myself.

Later God convicted that I had hurt Philip when I refused his help. I did not handle the humbling to well. And God delighted to use me a couple of hours later. I bruised Philip's heart when the Christ in him reached out to me. I apologized to him later in front of the kids because he did what he was supposed to do. He reached out in love and sometimes we need help to get through what we are going through.

Presence

I remember waking from the surgery. There were two friends standing against the wall. John and Big Ed. Like two strong angels they were there when I wasn't all there. Their presence was powerful. I don't remember a word that they said - did not need to. All I needed to hear was their presence.

I was visited a friend who was dying of cancer. As I walked into the room, he did not lift his head but said, "Pastor Rod, it is good to feel your presence." I sensed that he was spiritually more alive than he had ever been. "You are getting close to the other side?" He smiled and nodded. He was ready. He sighed, enjoying my presence for one last time. The next week he was gone. At least from earth and my earthly sight.

Presence is powerful. St Francis of Assisi is said to have said, "Preach the gospel, use words if you have to." Most of what we do is simply through the power of our presence.

Heart Stealing Disease

There are several viruses that we can catch that can insure that by the time sons and daughters arrive our hearts have been eaten away by Heart-Stealing Disease; officially known at HS disease. Like a pac-man from the old video game, the disease eats away at the heart so that there is no heart left when the child grows into a adult's form. They may be a adult in height but not in heart. Here are a few things that a young person can pick up that will eat away at their heart.
There was a young man who was attached to video games. The games were not the disease; his life attachment to it was the disease. His mind and emotions bonded together and sought life from games. The heart is designed by God to only engage and seek life from God. The mind and emotions bind together in a secret rebellion against the heart to seek a life of its own. The Old Testament called these idols. We keep an idol as a back up just in case God fails. We all have comfort things our minds and emotions bond to find life when we feel that God fails us. For me personally, it has been sweets and God seems to be digging a little deeper and saying it is eating in general. God wants to be our sole comfort. Little children, watch out for idols.

Fresh Manna

God said to me today and I pass it on to you...
Rodney, may I have permission to...
1. Leave My perfect Father and chase you and your heart?
2. To listen, cherish and fulfill the whispers of your heart in such a way that you totally entrust your heart to My heart?
3. To nourish your masculine heart as a man, husband, father and pastor? To awaken you to the greatness that I have authored in you?
4. To give Myself up for you so that I might sanctify you, cleansing you with My tears, My blood and My Word that I might present you before My Father in all My glory and majesty without stain or blemish?

God expects husbands to chase, cherish, nourish and wash their wives. It is a great mystery but it is the picture of Christ pursuing the church. See Ephesians 5.

Muse: Time

I wonder if time is an illusion of the mind. I wonder if time happened when Adam sinned. I wonder how long did Adam live before Eve was created and how long before he sinned.