The eyes of the heart only look out. We cannot see in. To get a picture of our heart we must be in heart to heart relationship with other people. Our parents are tasked with the calling of helping us to see the heart that God has given us and to respond according to that heart.
If our parents fail we take our identity from our soul and from the world's influence upon our soul. Our soul is our mind and emotions and will. We become chameleons that respond to all sorts of stimuli from our world.
Do you know the heart of your friends? Do they invite you to know their hearts? Do you know how to know a heart versus a mind? Do you want to know your own heart? It is very dangerous to get into a relationship with someone to discover your heart. The essence of marriage is to exchange trusts of the heart. It means to say to your spouse "I trust you more with my heart than I trust myself. You know my heart better than I do." This is also the essence of good parenting. You must win your child's heart before they are ten years of age. By winning their heart, they say to you basically the same thing, "I trust you more than I trust myself." This is very important to happen before the child reaches the age when they are exposed to their peers. If the heart exchange has not happened the child will entrust their heart unto the care of their peers. And that is not good.